It sounds like you're in a complex emotional situation, and it's completely understandable to feel confused given the dynamics of your connection with him. Let’s break this down into manageable parts to help you navigate your feelings and the potential next steps.

Understanding His Current State

From what you've shared, it seems that he is currently in a challenging place in his life, feeling like a "mess." This could be influencing his behavior and the way he interacts with you. It's important to acknowledge that when someone feels overwhelmed, they might pull back from romantic endeavors, even if they genuinely like the other person. His mixed signals—sometimes engaging deeply and other times being distant—can be attributed to his emotional state.

Recognizing Your Feelings

You’ve developed strong feelings for him, which is natural given the time you've spent together and the connection you've built. It’s clear you enjoy his company and value the relationship. However, it’s crucial to consider whether your feelings are reciprocated. His compliments and interest in your baking indicate he appreciates you, but the lack of reciprocation to your compliments might suggest he’s not ready to engage on that level yet.

Communication is Key

While it’s understandable to fear rejection or that he might not be ready for a relationship, open communication could be your best approach. Here are some steps to consider:

• Choose the Right Time: Find a moment when you both are relaxed and not preoccupied with other things. This will help create a comfortable environment for honest dialogue.
• Express Your Feelings Honestly: You might say something like, "I really enjoy our time together and have developed feelings for you. I understand you mentioned that you're not ready for a relationship, but I wanted to share where I'm at." This can open the door for him to express his feelings without pressure.
• Be Prepared for Any Response: He might need time to think about what you’ve shared, or he might affirm your feelings. Be prepared for either outcome and try to remain calm and understanding regardless of his response.

Assessing the Response

If he expresses that he still isn’t ready for a relationship, it’s important to respect that. You might want to ask him how he sees your connection moving forward. Would he prefer to keep things casual, or is he open to exploring a deeper connection in the future? This can help clarify expectations and prevent further heartache.

Maintaining the Connection

Regardless of the outcome, it’s essential to preserve the connection you've built. If he isn’t ready for a romantic relationship, consider discussing how to maintain your friendship. This might mean setting boundaries to protect your feelings, such as limiting certain types of interactions that could lead to confusion.

Final Thoughts

It’s perfectly okay to feel vulnerable in this situation. Relationships can be complicated, especially when emotions are involved. By communicating openly and honestly, you give both yourself and him the best chance to understand each other’s feelings and intentions. Remember, your feelings are valid, and you deserve clarity in your connections.

Ultimately, whether you decide to share your feelings or wait a bit longer, prioritize your emotional well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This will help you manage any uncertainty while you navigate this relationship.