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My girlfriend (25F) and I (26M) have been together for nearly two years. She’s always been a confident, easygoing person, but recently, she’s been acting quite differently. Last week, she had heart palpitations that worried her, and ever since, she’s been convinced there’s something seriously wrong with her health. Despite going to the hospital, having blood tests, and being checked by doctors, they’ve assured her that she’s completely healthy and it’s likely related to anxiety or stress. Now, every day she messages or calls me, upset and crying, convinced that there’s something new wrong with her. It started with her thinking she was having a heart attack, then she worried about dizziness, ear blockage, vitamin deficiencies, and other health issues. Sometimes she even feels unsupported by her family or thinks she might be pregnant. Each day brings a new worry, and she gets extremely stressed over it, making it hard for me to know what to say or do. I’m trying to support her, but it’s starting to feel overwhelming. When we went out for New Year’s, she was fine at first, but during dinner, she started to panic. She kept going outside to get fresh air and mentioned she hadn’t been eating properly. The next morning, she was refusing to get out of bed and begged me to call an ambulance. I did, and the medic confirmed there was nothing wrong with her. Today, she’s at the hospital with her family again, convinced there’s something wrong inside her chest. I don’t know how to help anymore, and I feel like I’m just repeating myself. I want to be there for her, but it’s starting to strain the relationship. How can I help her without feeling resentful or overwhelmed?

a month ago
39

It sounds like you are in a very challenging situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Your girlfriend's sudden onset of anxiety and health-related fears can be distressing for both of you. Here are some suggestions on how to navigate this difficult time:

Understand Her Perspective

It’s important to recognize that your girlfriend is likely experiencing genuine fear and distress, even if the root cause is anxiety. Symptoms of anxiety can manifest physically, leading her to feel as though there is something seriously wrong with her health. Acknowledging her feelings without dismissing them can be helpful. You might say:

"I can see that you’re really scared right now, and it’s okay to feel that way. I’m here for you."

Encourage Professional Help

While it sounds like she has seen doctors, it may be beneficial for her to speak with a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who specializes in anxiety. You can gently suggest this by saying:

"Have you thought about talking to someone who can help you manage your anxiety? I think it could really help you feel more in control."

Set Boundaries

While it’s important to support her, it’s also crucial to take care of your own mental health. If her constant calls and messages are becoming overwhelming, consider setting some boundaries. You might say:

"I want to be here for you, but I also need some time to recharge. Can we agree to check in at specific times during the day?"

Be Patient and Consistent

Understand that recovery from anxiety can take time. There may be good days and bad days. Being consistent in your support and patience can make a significant difference. Remind her that you’re in this together:

"I know this is tough, but I believe in you. We can work through this together."

Encourage Healthy Habits

Encourage her to engage in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing exercises. You might suggest:

"How about we go for a walk together or try a yoga class? It might help you feel a bit better."

Be Mindful of Your Own Feelings

It’s normal to feel resentment or frustration when someone you care about is struggling. It’s crucial to address your feelings as well. Consider finding a trusted friend or therapist to talk to about your experiences. You might say to yourself:

"It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. I need to take care of my own mental health too."

Conclusion

Supporting someone with anxiety can be incredibly challenging, but your compassion and willingness to help can make a difference. By understanding her feelings, encouraging professional help, setting boundaries, and taking care of yourself, you can navigate this difficult time together. Remember, you are not alone in this, and it’s okay to seek support for yourself as well.

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