I (18F) am turning 19 on January 25. I’ve been dating this guy for two years, and while our relationship hasn’t always been perfect, we both fought for it. About three to six months in, he admitted that he had been catfishing me with someone else’s face. Although I was grossed out and wanted to see his real face (which I did after verifying it with his mom’s Facebook), I loved him and chose to stay because I wanted to make things work. There were more issues throughout the relationship, and eventually, we broke up for a month or two because he got busy with life, but I felt neglected. He’d spend time gaming (like playing Valorant) and wouldn’t text me to explain why he was distant. I would have understood if he had communicated that he was just drained, but it went on for two weeks without any explanation from him. We broke up, and some drama happened during that time, but we eventually got back together. When we did, he told me that he had intentionally neglected me because he wanted me to hate him before he actually got busy. He wanted me to leave him, but I had told him I’d stick through tough times with him. I cried and told him how selfish it was to risk our relationship like that. Now, the third major issue occurred last night. He called me at 1 AM and told me that he had been lying to me about his age for the past two years. He had told me he was 18 when we started dating, but in reality, he’s 17, just turned 17 in December. I freaked out and asked for space. All I could think about was why he lied to me, how I didn’t notice, and how his friends had covered for him. I’d even made a joke at the beginning of our relationship about him being 18, and he said he would break up with me until I turned 18, but he kept this lie going for two years. I’ve told him multiple times, both before and during our relationship, that I’m uncomfortable dating someone younger than a year apart, and that I don’t like when people lie about their age, especially in a situation where he was requesting NSFW photos from me while knowing I was uncomfortable with him being in an age range like that. This means I was 17 and he was 15, which is a big difference to me. I could understand dating someone 18 if I was 20, but this is different. He said it wasn’t a big deal since it’s only 1 year and 11 months, but for me, the lying and the deceit are disturbing. I told him I wasn’t comfortable dating him anymore, but now I’m left feeling lost. I still care about the person I got to know, the one I spent two years with, the one I introduced to my family, the one whose family I met. We were supposed to go on a date where he was flying down for my birthday, and now I’m heartbroken. I spent hours crying last night over this. Now, I’m having doubts, and I hate that I feel this way. I’m questioning myself—did I overreact? Was I too emotional? Am I a horrible person for missing him despite knowing the truth? I’m lost, and I really need someone to talk to. Answer: First, I want to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is valid, and you’re not a horrible person for being confused or hurt. It’s completely normal to feel conflicted after such a significant betrayal, especially when it involves lying about something as important as age. It’s also natural to still have emotional attachment to the person you’ve been with for two years, despite the hurt they’ve caused you. Your feelings about his lies and the age difference are completely justified. When you set clear boundaries about what you’re comfortable with in a relationship, especially regarding age and honesty, your partner should have respected that. Lying about his age, especially when it affects the very nature of your comfort and trust, is deeply concerning. Additionally, the fact that he requested NSFW photos from you while knowingly lying about his age makes it even more troubling. This is a betrayal of trust and a violation of your boundaries, and it’s important to honor your discomfort with these actions. While it’s clear that you care about him and have shared meaningful experiences, you also deserve to feel safe, respected, and comfortable in your relationship. The emotional and psychological toll of the deceit could lead to long-term harm to your trust and your sense of self. You are not overreacting by feeling disturbed and uncomfortable. It's also okay to grieve the relationship and what it could have been. Breaking up doesn’t erase the love and memories you’ve built, but it’s necessary to protect your emotional well-being. Take some time to process your feelings and focus on what you truly need to move forward. In terms of next steps, it's important to give yourself the space to reflect and heal. Talk to a trusted friend or family member to help gain perspective. Be kind to yourself and remember that you’re not alone in navigating difficult relationships. Lastly, you deserve someone who respects your boundaries, communicates openly, and values your feelings. Stay strong in your decision to prioritize your well-being and future happiness. Your feelings matter, and it’s okay to choose what’s best for you, even if it means letting go of someone you care about.