Invastor logo
No products in cart
No products in cart

Ai Content Generator

Ai Picture

Tell Your Story

My profile picture
677eaa400f2c680780db5e9a

I (30M) had my first date in years and things are complicated. I (30M) went out with a wonderful woman (30F) and I need help processing my feelings. We've been communicating for a month and we were finally able to get our schedules worked out yesterday. I'm neurodivergent and I rarely date, it's been around 2 years since my last serious relationship. There was a lot of flirty build up before then, and it's quite frankly the most desired I've felt since my last first serious date a long time ago. The date was a success, and I'm dying to see her again, but she has some things going on behind the scenes that she's working through. She hasn't had a lot of good relationships, there's trouble at home, and she wants time to figure things out before going forward. She's in therapy and wants to be sure she's ready for something like this. I don't have a problem with this, but I don't know if this is mixed signals or not. She has told me she'd like to see me again, but she just wants time to process. Says that "the vibes weren't all there" and it wasn't anything I'd done. On the contrary, she said it was "The best first date she'd ever been on." She kissed me on the cheek and thanked me for everything, so I really think I made a good first impression. My problem is... I've gotten attached in the short time I've known her. She's said the sweetest things to me, regularly told me how handsome she finds me, and starts my day with a good morning text. I've forgotten how good that feels, and I don't want to lose it. Where do I go from here? I'm expecting the worst but preparing for the best. Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? I need some perspective. TL;DR: I have feelings for a date but I'm worried I've already lost her. Despite what she says.

a month ago
51

It's completely understandable to feel a whirlwind of emotions after your first date, especially given your neurodivergent background and the time it’s been since your last serious relationship. There are several layers to unpack here, so let’s break it down.

1. Recognizing Your Feelings:

Having strong feelings after a date, particularly one that felt significant, is natural. You mentioned feeling desired and appreciated, which can create a strong attachment. It's okay to feel excited about the connection you made, but it’s also important to acknowledge that feelings can develop quickly, especially after a positive experience.

2. Understanding Her Situation:

It's commendable that you respect her need for time and self-reflection. Her situation sounds complex, and it’s important to give her the space she needs to work through her challenges. The fact that she’s in therapy indicates she’s taking proactive steps towards her mental health, which is a positive sign. Be supportive of her journey, as this can strengthen your bond in the long run.

3. Mixed Signals or Not?

You mentioned her statement about the vibes not being all there. This can be confusing, especially when combined with her compliments and desire to see you again. It’s possible that her internal struggles are affecting her ability to fully engage in a new relationship, even if she enjoyed your time together. The key here is communication. If you feel comfortable, you might consider gently asking her what she means by "the vibes weren't all there." This can provide clarity and show her that you’re interested in understanding her perspective.

4. Managing Your Expectations:

While it’s healthy to hope for the best, preparing for the worst is also wise. This balance can help you maintain emotional stability. One approach is to keep your communication light and supportive. For instance, you could send her a message saying something like, "I really enjoyed our time together and I completely understand if you need some space. Just know I'm here when you're ready to talk or meet up again." This conveys your interest while respecting her boundaries.

5. Focus on Yourself:

In the meantime, while you’re waiting for her to process her feelings, try to engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This could be pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends, or focusing on self-improvement. Building your own happiness can help mitigate the anxiety of waiting and can make you feel more grounded, regardless of her decision.

6. The Importance of Communication:

As you navigate this situation, keep the lines of communication open. When she’s ready, talk about your feelings and concerns. Clear communication can help both of you understand where you stand. If she expresses that she’s not ready for a relationship, it’s important to respect her wishes, even if it’s difficult.

7. Conclusion:

Ultimately, it’s a balancing act between nurturing your feelings and respecting her needs. Relationships can be complex, especially when both parties are dealing with their own personal issues. Trust the process, and remember that whatever happens, you’re taking a positive step by being open about your emotions and supportive of her journey.

Stay hopeful, and give it time. Whatever the outcome, you’ve taken a brave step into the dating world, and that’s something to be proud of.

User Comments

Related Posts

    There are no more blogs to show

    © 2025 Invastor. All Rights Reserved