It sounds like you're going through a really challenging time, and it's completely understandable to feel hurt and confused after discovering that your partner posted something that suggests he was contemplating a situation that could lead to infidelity. Here are some thoughts and suggestions that may help you navigate this situation:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Your feelings of betrayal and distrust are valid. Trust is a fundamental part of any relationship, and when that trust is shaken, it can lead to significant emotional turmoil. Take some time to process your feelings. It’s okay to feel angry, confused, or even sad about the situation.

2. Consider the Context

Long-distance relationships can be tough, and being apart for extended periods can create vulnerabilities. It’s worth considering the context in which your partner made the post. He may have been feeling lonely or uncertain while you were away, which could have prompted him to seek advice on Reddit.

3. Communication is Key

Have an open and honest conversation with him about how his actions affected you. Express your feelings without accusations. For example, you might say:

"I felt hurt and confused when I saw your post because it made me question our relationship. I need to understand what you were thinking at that moment."

This approach can help foster understanding rather than defensiveness.

4. Evaluate His Response

Pay attention to how he responds to your concerns. Is he genuinely remorseful? Is he willing to take responsibility for his actions? A sincere apology and a commitment to rebuild trust are crucial. Look for specific actions he might take to show he’s serious about regaining your trust.

5. Assess the Relationship

Consider what you value in your relationship. Reflect on the positive aspects of your partnership before this incident. Has he been supportive, loving, and trustworthy in the past? If so, it might be worth exploring whether this one lapse in judgment can be forgiven.

6. Set Boundaries and Expectations

If you decide to give him another chance, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and expectations moving forward. Discuss what behaviors are acceptable and what you both need to feel secure in the relationship.

For example, you might say:

"I need to know that you will communicate openly with me about any situations that make you uncomfortable or that could be problematic in our relationship."

7. Give It Time

Rebuilding trust takes time. It’s a gradual process, and it’s important to be patient with yourself and with him. Trust can be rebuilt, but it requires consistent effort and reassurance from both partners.

8. Seek Support

Consider talking to friends, family, or even a therapist about your feelings. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help you make a more informed decision about your relationship.

9. Trust Your Instincts

Ultimately, you know your relationship best. If you genuinely feel that he did not cheat and that this was a mistake, then it may be possible to work through this. However, if you find that you cannot shake the feeling of distrust, it might be worth considering whether this relationship is right for you long-term.

Conclusion

Rebuilding trust is certainly possible, but it requires commitment and effort from both partners. Take the time you need to decide what’s best for you, and remember that your feelings are important. Whether you choose to give him another chance or move on, make sure that your choice aligns with your values and what you want for your future.