I'm really sorry to hear about what you've been through. It's important to recognize that physical violence, even if it has occurred before in a different context, is a serious issue that should not be taken lightly. Here are some points to consider moving forward:

Understanding the Situation

From your description, it seems that the incident was triggered by a buildup of frustration and communication issues. However, regardless of the circumstances, his response of slapping you is unacceptable. Physical violence is never justified in a relationship, and it often indicates deeper issues that need to be addressed.

Recognizing Patterns

You mentioned that there have been physical altercations before, albeit mutual pushing. This could suggest a pattern of escalating aggression, which is concerning. In healthy relationships, conflicts can arise, but they should be resolved through communication, not violence. Reflect on whether this is a pattern that could continue or worsen.

Communication Breakdown

It appears there was a significant breakdown in communication. His expectation that you should always present "great energy" can be unrealistic and places undue pressure on you. A healthy relationship allows for emotional fluctuations and mutual understanding. It’s crucial to establish a safe space for both partners to express their feelings without fear of retaliation.

Manipulation and Control

His attempt to spin the situation and make you feel responsible for his actions is a form of manipulation. This tactic can often lead to confusion and an erosion of self-esteem. It's essential to recognize that you are not responsible for his feelings or reactions. Emotional manipulation can be a form of abuse, and it’s important to be aware of this dynamic.

Setting Boundaries

If you are considering moving forward, it’s vital to set clear boundaries. Discuss what is acceptable and what is not in your relationship. It may be helpful to establish a zero-tolerance policy for any form of violence or intimidation. If he is genuinely committed to change, he should be willing to engage in open discussions about these boundaries.

Seeking Professional Help

Both individual and couples counseling can be beneficial in situations like this. A professional can help you both navigate your feelings, improve communication, and address any underlying issues that may have contributed to the altercation. Therapy can provide tools to manage anger and frustration in healthier ways.

Safety First

Your safety and well-being should always come first. If you feel unsafe or uncertain about the potential for future violence, consider reaching out to trusted friends, family, or professionals for support. It might be wise to have a safety plan in place.

Trust Your Instincts

Ultimately, you know your relationship best. If you feel that his apology is genuine and he is committed to change, it may be worth exploring the possibility of moving forward. However, if you have doubts or feel that the relationship is more harmful than beneficial, it’s perfectly valid to consider ending it. Trust your instincts and prioritize your emotional and physical safety.

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, respected, and valued. Take the time you need to evaluate the situation and make the best decision for yourself.