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There’s this girl on my soccer team who I always thought was cute, but I never took a chance with her because I didn’t want to make things awkward. After playing together for about six months, she started asking me to help her other team when they were short players. She’s really nice to me, and for Christmas, I got her a few small gifts—nothing big, probably about $30 in total. Since then, we’ve been texting a lot more and getting to know each other better. Our texts are massive—like, you have to click to read them because they’re so long. I’ve never had someone send such long messages before, and it’s like we’re having multiple conversations in one. At one point, I mentioned that we should get drinks sometime, and she said, “Totally!” along with responding to everything else. This has been going on for a few weeks now, but today I saw her and asked if she was free on Saturday. She told me she’s hanging out with her friend, who she doesn’t get to see often. I’m not really good with these kinds of situations, and I’m starting to feel like maybe she’s not interested. That’s just my gut feeling, though. If people want screenshots to help with context, I can provide them. I could really use some advice here.

a month ago
32

It sounds like you're navigating a classic situation where feelings and friendships intersect, and it's understandable to feel a bit confused. Let's break down the various aspects of your interaction with her and what steps you might consider taking next.

1. Analyzing the Communication:

The fact that your texts are long and engaging is a positive sign. It indicates that she enjoys talking to you and is willing to invest time in the conversation. Long messages often mean that both parties are interested in sharing thoughts and experiences. For example, if she frequently responds with detailed messages, it shows she values the dialogue.

2. The Invitation for Drinks:

When you suggested getting drinks and she responded with “Totally!”, it seemed like a positive indication of her interest. Her enthusiastic response suggests she is open to spending time with you outside of soccer. However, the fact that she had plans with her friend this Saturday could be interpreted in several ways:

  • She genuinely has prior commitments: It’s important to remember that friends and social obligations often take precedence. She might really want to catch up with her friend.
  • She may need time to consider: Sometimes, people are cautious about moving from a friendly relationship to something more romantic. She could be taking her time to figure out her feelings.

3. Assessing Interest:

It’s natural to feel uncertain about her interest based on this one interaction. If she has been consistently engaging with you through texts and has shown excitement about hanging out, those are strong indicators of interest. The key here is to observe her overall behavior:

  • Does she initiate conversations or is it mostly you?
  • How does she respond to personal questions or topics? Is she open and forthcoming?
  • Has she mentioned wanting to hang out again at another time?

4. Moving Forward:

If you’re looking to clarify her feelings, consider suggesting another time to hang out. You could say something like, “No worries! Let’s find another day that works for both of us.” This keeps the door open without putting too much pressure on her.

5. Being Direct:

After some casual hangouts, if you feel comfortable, you might want to express your feelings. You could frame it in a light-hearted way, such as, “I’ve really enjoyed hanging out and getting to know you better. I think you’re great, and I’d love to see if there’s something more between us.” This approach is honest but also allows her to share her feelings without feeling cornered.

6. Accepting Outcomes:

Regardless of her response, remember that it’s important to respect her feelings. If she isn’t interested in pursuing something romantic, it doesn’t mean you can’t maintain a friendship. Mutual respect is key to any relationship.

In conclusion, while it’s easy to overthink signals, focusing on the overall interaction and maintaining open communication can help clarify where you both stand. Trust your instincts and be patient, as relationships often develop at their own pace.

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