It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, and it's completely understandable to feel hurt and dismissed by your husband's resistance to you joining him on this trip to Punta Cana. Here are some thoughts that might help you navigate this conversation and the feelings you're experiencing.

Understanding His Perspective

Your husband might have several reasons for his reluctance. Since he has never traveled before, the idea of working in a foreign place might feel overwhelming to him. He may fear that having you there could complicate his work commitments, even if you are willing to entertain your own activities while he works. This could stem from a desire to maintain focus on his job, especially if he feels pressure to perform well during this trip.

For example, he might worry about how to balance work responsibilities with the expectations of being on vacation. This is a common concern for first-time travelers who may not have experience managing work-life balance in a different environment.

Communicating Your Feelings

It's essential to express your feelings honestly. Let him know how much it means to you to have this time together, even if it’s not fully spent in each other’s company. You might say something like:

"I understand that you will be working, but I would love to be there with you to share the experience. I could explore the area while you work, and we could enjoy the evenings together. It really hurts to feel dismissed when I’ve tried to suggest ways to make this trip enjoyable for both of us."

By framing your feelings in a way that emphasizes your desire for connection rather than putting pressure on him, he may be more receptive to your perspective.

Exploring Compromise

Consider discussing potential compromises that might make him feel more comfortable. For instance, you could propose a schedule where you spend part of the day doing your own activities and then come together in the evenings. This way, he can focus on his work without feeling guilty about not spending time with you.

Additionally, suggest that you could plan a couple of special outings together on his days off or after his work hours, which would allow you both to enjoy the vacation together without overwhelming his work schedule.

Addressing the Room Upgrade

Regarding the room upgrade, it’s worth exploring why he has turned down your suggestions. He may have budget constraints or feel that the current accommodations are sufficient for his needs. It might help to approach this topic by asking him about his preferences for the trip and what would make him comfortable.

"I noticed you weren’t interested in upgrading the room. Can you share what your thoughts are on that? Would a different arrangement help you feel more at ease?"

By making it a conversation rather than a suggestion, you can better understand his viewpoint and perhaps find a solution that works for both of you.

Reflecting on the Bigger Picture

Lastly, it’s vital to reflect on the bigger picture of your relationship. Consider discussing your mutual travel goals and how you can support each other in those experiences. Traveling together can strengthen your bond, and expressing your desire to share these moments can open up a dialogue about future trips and adventures.

In conclusion, while it’s natural to feel hurt by his decision, open and honest communication is key. Understanding his perspective, expressing your feelings, exploring compromises, and reflecting on your relationship can lead to a more productive conversation. Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both your needs and his concerns.