It's completely understandable to feel unappreciated in this situation. The act of making tea, especially after a long day, is a kind gesture that should be met with gratitude and respect. Here are some points to consider:

• Communication Styles: It sounds like there may be a mismatch in how you both express and receive appreciation. While you took the initiative to make him tea as a way to show your gratitude for dinner, he may not have recognized that effort. You might want to discuss how each of you prefers to communicate appreciation. For instance, you could say, "I feel great when I do something nice for you, and it would mean a lot to me if you could acknowledge it." This can open a dialogue about expectations and communication.
• Expectations vs. Reality: Your boyfriend's reaction suggests he may have had a specific expectation for how the tea should be made. However, instead of expressing that before you made the tea, he chose to complain afterward. This can be frustrating, especially when you made the effort to accommodate his request. In future situations, you might consider asking, "How do you prefer your tea?" before taking action, which can help clarify expectations.
• Effort vs. Outcome: It’s important to recognize that the effort you put into making the tea should be valued, regardless of the outcome. The fact that you got out of bed to make something for him shows thoughtfulness. If he values the outcome more than the effort, it might be worth discussing how that affects your feelings. You could express, "I appreciate that you have a specific way of enjoying tea, but I also hope you can appreciate the effort I put into making it for you."
• Self-Care and Boundaries: If you feel that this pattern of behavior continues and it impacts your emotional well-being, it may be time to set some boundaries. You could consider saying something like, "I enjoy doing things for you, but if my efforts aren't appreciated, I may need to step back and let you handle things yourself." This can help him understand that his lack of appreciation has consequences.
• Recognizing Patterns: Reflect on whether this is a recurring issue in your relationship. If he often complains after you do something for him, it may indicate a deeper issue regarding respect and appreciation. Keeping a journal of these instances might help you articulate your feelings more clearly during a discussion.

Ultimately, it’s important for both partners in a relationship to feel valued and appreciated. A healthy relationship should foster mutual respect and understanding. If you find that discussions about these issues don’t lead to positive changes, it might be worth considering whether the relationship is meeting your emotional needs.

Remember, it's not about being overly sensitive; it's about acknowledging your feelings and advocating for your needs in the relationship. Open communication can often resolve misunderstandings, but both partners need to be willing to listen and adjust.