"I’m 15 (Male) and had a crush on a girl (15) since 2023 when I was in 8th grade and she was in 9th. It started because we were both in the photography club and kept getting paired up to take photos during our school’s sports events. I really liked her because she was kind, funny, and beautiful. My crush grew when I promised to buy her a gift after my vacation. She asked for a stuffed toy and some chocolate. Even though I ended up not going on that vacation, I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I bought her a Dairy Milk chocolate bar and a small bear plushie. When I gave it to her, it spread around school pretty quickly—probably because she told everyone about it, haha. That whole school year was just me being head over heels for her. We spent time together, kept in touch online, and were getting along really well. I thought she might like me too, but she kept talking about her crushes and other people she liked, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I never confessed my feelings because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take that step. Now, I’m in 9th grade and she’s in 10th. I’ve mostly cut ties with her, but we still talk occasionally if she reaches out. I did this because there were a few situations that didn’t sit well with me. For example, back in August, when she was feeling down, I promised her I’d buy another stuffed toy. She kept reminding me about it until I eventually bought it for her. That night when I gave it to her, I didn’t feel anything—it wasn’t happy or sad, it just felt empty, even though she messaged me to say thank you. Things got a little better when she introduced me to her parents, and I thought, “Maybe she likes me?” But it all came crashing down when she kept mentioning she wanted to eat at McDonald's. I decided to treat her and asked her out, and she said yes. But on the day we were supposed to go, I waited outside her classroom for about 40 minutes. When I thought we were finally about to leave, she told me she was busy and we’d have to reschedule. That’s when I realized I was done with this situation. I had been wondering why everyone seemed to know I liked her, and it turned out she had been telling people about it—pretty much her whole grade, and even the 7th graders. I was shocked because I always thought things like that should be kept private. I realized that I had been foolish for getting so caught up in liking her, especially when she was interested in another guy. I also spent a lot of money buying her gifts, which in hindsight could have been used better, but at least it made her happy. To this day, I still think she’s beautiful, kind, and funny, but I don’t see myself getting close to her again. So, what should I do now? Should I keep in touch with her, try to be friends, or only engage when she initiates contact? Did I do anything wrong in this situation? Thanks." Answer: It sounds like you've been through a lot emotionally in this situation, and it’s understandable to feel confused and hurt by how things have turned out. Here are a few thoughts to consider: Reflect on your feelings: It’s clear that you had strong feelings for her, but it seems like there were a lot of mixed signals and situations that made you uncomfortable. It’s normal to feel disappointed, especially when you thought she might be interested in you, but her actions and communication didn’t match that. Boundaries and privacy: The fact that she shared your feelings with others without your consent is definitely a breach of privacy, especially in a situation where you valued keeping things between you two. This can be a tough pill to swallow, but it's a valuable lesson in understanding the importance of boundaries in relationships—whether they are friendships or crushes. Take a step back: Given everything that happened, it might be helpful to take a break from the situation. If you feel that you’re not emotionally ready to be close friends with her, then it’s okay to distance yourself. You don’t need to force a friendship if it doesn’t feel right. Engaging with her only when she reaches out sounds like a healthy middle ground—this allows you to keep the door open for casual communication while also protecting your emotions. Learn from the experience: You didn’t do anything “wrong” in this situation—being kind and wanting to do something nice for her doesn’t make you foolish. You were being thoughtful, but it’s also important to recognize when your feelings might not be reciprocated in the way you had hoped. This experience teaches you to be more mindful of your boundaries and to avoid over-investing emotionally in situations that may not be as mutual as you initially thought. Moving forward: Going forward, it might be helpful to focus on your own emotional well-being. There are plenty of opportunities to develop relationships that feel more balanced and respectful of your boundaries. Try not to dwell too much on what didn’t work out with her. Ultimately, take time for yourself and evaluate what feels right for you. It’s okay to step back and let the situation cool down.

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Jaycob Gaylord

"I’m 15 (Male) and had a crush on a girl (15) since 2023 when I was in 8th grade and she was in 9th. It started because we were both in the photography club and kept getting paired up to take photos during our school’s sports events. I really liked her because she was kind, funny, and beautiful. My crush grew when I promised to buy her a gift after my vacation. She asked for a stuffed toy and some chocolate. Even though I ended up not going on that vacation, I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I bought her a Dairy Milk chocolate bar and a small bear plushie. When I gave it to her, it spread around school pretty quickly—probably because she told everyone about it, haha. That whole school year was just me being head over heels for her. We spent time together, kept in touch online, and were getting along really well. I thought she might like me too, but she kept talking about her crushes and other people she liked, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I never confessed my feelings because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take that step. Now, I’m in 9th grade and she’s in 10th. I’ve mostly cut ties with her, but we still talk occasionally if she reaches out. I did this because there were a few situations that didn’t sit well with me. For example, back in August, when she was feeling down, I promised her I’d buy another stuffed toy. She kept reminding me about it until I eventually bought it for her. That night when I gave it to her, I didn’t feel anything—it wasn’t happy or sad, it just felt empty, even though she messaged me to say thank you. Things got a little better when she introduced me to her parents, and I thought, “Maybe she likes me?” But it all came crashing down when she kept mentioning she wanted to eat at McDonald's. I decided to treat her and asked her out, and she said yes. But on the day we were supposed to go, I waited outside her classroom for about 40 minutes. When I thought we were finally about to leave, she told me she was busy and we’d have to reschedule. That’s when I realized I was done with this situation. I had been wondering why everyone seemed to know I liked her, and it turned out she had been telling people about it—pretty much her whole grade, and even the 7th graders. I was shocked because I always thought things like that should be kept private. I realized that I had been foolish for getting so caught up in liking her, especially when she was interested in another guy. I also spent a lot of money buying her gifts, which in hindsight could have been used better, but at least it made her happy. To this day, I still think she’s beautiful, kind, and funny, but I don’t see myself getting close to her again. So, what should I do now? Should I keep in touch with her, try to be friends, or only engage when she initiates contact? Did I do anything wrong in this situation? Thanks." Answer: It sounds like you've been through a lot emotionally in this situation, and it’s understandable to feel confused and hurt by how things have turned out. Here are a few thoughts to consider: Reflect on your feelings: It’s clear that you had strong feelings for her, but it seems like there were a lot of mixed signals and situations that made you uncomfortable. It’s normal to feel disappointed, especially when you thought she might be interested in you, but her actions and communication didn’t match that. Boundaries and privacy: The fact that she shared your feelings with others without your consent is definitely a breach of privacy, especially in a situation where you valued keeping things between you two. This can be a tough pill to swallow, but it's a valuable lesson in understanding the importance of boundaries in relationships—whether they are friendships or crushes. Take a step back: Given everything that happened, it might be helpful to take a break from the situation. If you feel that you’re not emotionally ready to be close friends with her, then it’s okay to distance yourself. You don’t need to force a friendship if it doesn’t feel right. Engaging with her only when she reaches out sounds like a healthy middle ground—this allows you to keep the door open for casual communication while also protecting your emotions. Learn from the experience: You didn’t do anything “wrong” in this situation—being kind and wanting to do something nice for her doesn’t make you foolish. You were being thoughtful, but it’s also important to recognize when your feelings might not be reciprocated in the way you had hoped. This experience teaches you to be more mindful of your boundaries and to avoid over-investing emotionally in situations that may not be as mutual as you initially thought. Moving forward: Going forward, it might be helpful to focus on your own emotional well-being. There are plenty of opportunities to develop relationships that feel more balanced and respectful of your boundaries. Try not to dwell too much on what didn’t work out with her. Ultimately, take time for yourself and evaluate what feels right for you. It’s okay to step back and let the situation cool down.

a month ago

It sounds like you've been through a lot emotionally in this situation, and it’s understandable to feel confused and hurt by how things have turned out. Here are a few thoughts to consider:

Reflect on Your Feelings

It’s clear that you had strong feelings for her, but it seems like there were a lot of mixed signals and situations that made you uncomfortable. It’s normal to feel disappointed, especially when you thought she might be interested in you, but her actions and communication didn’t match that. For instance, while you were buying her gifts as tokens of your affection, her frequent mentions of other crushes might have led you to feel uncertain about your place in her life.

Boundaries and Privacy

The fact that she shared your feelings with others without your consent is definitely a breach of privacy, especially in a situation where you valued keeping things between you two. This can be a tough pill to swallow, but it's a valuable lesson in understanding the importance of boundaries in relationships—whether they are friendships or crushes. For example, if you confide in a friend about a crush, you might expect that they would keep that information private, just as you would want her to respect your feelings.

Take a Step Back

Given everything that happened, it might be helpful to take a break from the situation. If you feel that you’re not emotionally ready to be close friends with her, then it’s okay to distance yourself. You don’t need to force a friendship if it doesn’t feel right. Engaging with her only when she reaches out sounds like a healthy middle ground—this allows you to keep the door open for casual communication while also protecting your emotions. For instance, if she messages you to chat, you can respond, but if you feel uncomfortable, it’s perfectly fine to take your time before replying.

Learn from the Experience

You didn’t do anything “wrong” in this situation—being kind and wanting to do something nice for her doesn’t make you foolish. You were being thoughtful, but it’s also important to recognize when your feelings might not be reciprocated in the way you had hoped. This experience teaches you to be more mindful of your boundaries and to avoid over-investing emotionally in situations that may not be as mutual as you initially thought. For example, in the future, you might choose to gauge someone’s interest in you more thoroughly before investing in gifts or planning outings.

Moving Forward

Going forward, it might be helpful to focus on your own emotional well-being. There are plenty of opportunities to develop relationships that feel more balanced and respectful of your boundaries. Try not to dwell too much on what didn’t work out with her. Instead, consider investing your time in activities that make you happy or in other friendships that feel more reciprocal.

Conclusion

Ultimately, take time for yourself and evaluate what feels right for you. It’s okay to step back and let the situation cool down. Remember that your feelings are valid, and it's essential to prioritize your emotional health. Surround yourself with supportive friends and focus on experiences that uplift you.

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