It's completely understandable to feel confused about the depth of your feelings, especially at a young age and after a few months of an on-and-off relationship. Let's break down the distinctions between love and limerence, as well as explore your feelings and experiences.

Limerence is often described as an intense infatuation or obsession with another person, characterized by strong emotional dependence and a desire for reciprocation. It can involve overwhelming feelings of euphoria when you're together and significant anxiety when you're apart. Here are some common traits of limerence:

• Intrusive Thoughts: Constantly thinking about the person, even when you’re engaged in other activities.
• Idealization: Viewing the person as perfect, overlooking their flaws, and attributing them with qualities that may not be entirely accurate.
• Emotional Dependency: Feeling a strong need for the person’s attention and affection to feel happy.

Love, on the other hand, tends to develop more gradually and is often deeper and more stable. Here are some characteristics of love:

• Understanding and Acceptance: A willingness to accept each other's flaws and imperfections.
• Emotional Support: A desire to support each other through challenges and celebrate each other's successes.
• Commitment: A mutual understanding of wanting to build a future together, which is often accompanied by efforts to communicate and resolve conflicts.

Considering your situation, here are a few points to reflect on:

1. Intensity of Feelings: You mention feeling restless and unable to sleep until you know he’s okay. This can point toward limerence, as it reflects a strong emotional dependence. However, the fact that you also express understanding and willingness to try again suggests there may be a foundation for deeper feelings.
2. Recurring Connection: The pattern of returning to each other after periods of silence indicates a strong bond. This could suggest a level of connection that transcends mere infatuation, especially if both of you are willing to engage again despite past conflicts.
3. Comparisons to Others: You’ve tried to find someone like him but feel no one compares. This strong emotional attachment can be a sign of limerence, but it can also indicate that you genuinely value the unique connection you share with him.
4. Willingness to Endure Ups and Downs: Your readiness to navigate the complexities of a relationship with him is a significant indicator that your feelings may lean more toward love, especially if you see potential for growth and improvement in the relationship.

Ultimately, it's essential to assess how you feel when you're with him versus when you're apart. If your feelings are rooted in a genuine connection and mutual respect, it may be love. However, if your feelings are more about obsession or anxiety over losing him, you might be experiencing limerence.

To gain more clarity, consider having an open conversation with him about your feelings and the nature of your relationship. Communication is key in understanding where both of you stand and what you both want moving forward. Whatever the outcome, remember that exploring these feelings is a part of growing and learning about yourself and your relationships.