It sounds like you're going through a challenging time in your long-distance relationship, and it's completely understandable to feel unsettled about the changes in communication. Long-distance relationships often rely heavily on consistent and meaningful communication, and when that shifts, it can leave you feeling disconnected and anxious.

Initially, the way he made an effort to call you frequently, regardless of the circumstances, likely made you feel valued and prioritized. This kind of commitment in communication can create a strong bond and reassure both partners of their importance to each other. However, the recent shift where you feel like the one initiating calls can be disheartening and might lead to feelings of insecurity. Here are a few points to consider:

1. Understanding the Change

There can be several reasons for the change in his communication habits:

• Life Changes: Sometimes, as life progresses, personal circumstances can shift. He may have new responsibilities, work commitments, or social obligations that take up more of his time. This is especially common in young adults who are navigating school, work, and personal relationships.
• Comfort Level: In the early stages of a relationship, there is often a heightened sense of excitement and urgency to connect. Over time, as partners become more comfortable with each other, the need for constant communication may decrease. This doesn't mean he cares any less; it might just reflect a different stage in your relationship.
• Social Dynamics: His mention of not wanting to call when his roommates are around could indicate that he values privacy or simply feels uncomfortable making personal calls in a shared space. This can be particularly relevant for individuals who live with others and may not want to share their private conversations.

2. Expressing Your Feelings

It’s good that you’ve already brought this up with him. Open communication is crucial in any relationship, particularly in long-distance ones. You might consider having a more in-depth conversation about your feelings. Here are some tips:

• Use "I" Statements: Instead of saying, “You never call me anymore,” you could say, “I feel anxious when I don’t hear from you as much because I really value our conversations.” This approach focuses on your feelings rather than placing blame.
• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage him to share more about his perspective. Questions like, “How do you feel about our communication lately?” can open up a dialogue that might reveal underlying issues or concerns.

3. Finding Balance

It’s essential to find a balance that works for both of you. If he is busy, maybe you could establish a regular schedule for calls that fits into both your routines. For example, you might agree to talk every Sunday evening, allowing both of you to plan your schedules around that time.

4. Reflecting on Your Needs

Consider what you need from this relationship and if those needs are being met. It’s important to be honest with yourself about your expectations. If consistent communication is a priority for you, it’s valid to seek that from him. On the other hand, if he is unable to provide that, it may be worth discussing how both of you can meet in the middle.

5. Seeking Support

If you find that this situation continues to weigh heavily on you, consider talking to friends or a therapist. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help clarify your feelings and offer new insights.

Ultimately, the key to navigating this situation lies in open, honest communication and a willingness to understand each other's perspectives. Remember that relationships evolve, and it's normal for communication patterns to change over time. The important part is to ensure both partners feel valued and understood.