It sounds like you’re in a challenging situation, and it’s completely understandable to feel resentment building when you’re carrying a significant financial burden in the relationship. Here are some steps and considerations that might help you navigate this situation:

1. Open Communication

Start by having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. It’s important to express how the financial dependency is affecting you emotionally and mentally. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as:

• I feel overwhelmed when I have to handle all the financial responsibilities.
• I need support in our relationship, both emotionally and practically.

Encourage him to share his feelings and perspectives as well. This can create a space for understanding and problem-solving.

2. Set Clear Expectations

It’s essential to establish what you need from him moving forward. This could include:

• Taking specific steps to find a job, such as applying to a certain number of jobs per week.
• Contributing to household chores more consistently.
• Setting a timeline for when you’d like to see progress.

By setting clear expectations, you can both be on the same page about what is required for a healthy partnership.

3. Encourage Independence

Since he has recently started taking steps to find a job, it’s crucial to encourage his independence without enabling further dependency. You might suggest:

• Helping him create a structured job search plan.
• Offering to review his CV or practice interview skills with him.
• Encouraging him to explore volunteer work or internships, which can enhance his skills and improve his employability.

Remind him that finding a job takes time and effort, and that you believe in his potential.

4. Establish Boundaries

It’s important to set personal boundaries to protect your own well-being. You might need to limit the financial support you provide or set boundaries on how much time you can dedicate to helping him. For example:

• Decide on a specific amount of financial support you’re comfortable providing each month.
• Implement a “no gaming” rule during certain hours to ensure you both have time for other responsibilities.

By establishing boundaries, you can help prevent feelings of resentment from building further.

5. Assess the Relationship

After having these discussions and setting expectations, take some time to assess how the relationship is evolving. If he shows a willingness to change and makes efforts to contribute, it might be worth giving it more time. However, if there’s no significant change or if you continue to feel undervalued, consider whether this relationship is meeting your needs.

6. Seek Professional Help

If the situation feels too overwhelming to handle on your own, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance on how to navigate your feelings of resentment and help you both communicate more effectively.

Conclusion

Ultimately, relationships require balance and mutual support. It’s essential to prioritize your own well-being while encouraging your partner to become more independent. Remember, it’s okay to put your needs first, and you deserve a partner who contributes to your life, both emotionally and financially.

Take your time to evaluate the situation, and trust your instincts about what is best for you.