I'm so sorry you're going through this; it sounds like an incredibly painful and confusing situation. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed, caught between the love you still have for your partner, the need to protect your daughter, and the deep hurt you’re experiencing.

Here are some steps to help you navigate this difficult time:

1. Acknowledge Your Pain

Your feelings are completely valid. The sense of betrayal, confusion, and grief you're experiencing is significant, and it’s important to allow yourself to feel these emotions rather than suppress them. You're facing a deep emotional wound, and the healing process will take time.

2. Consider Professional Support

It might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor to help process your feelings and the trauma you’ve experienced. A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your emotions, your relationship, and how to move forward, whether that’s healing together or apart.

Since you mentioned nightmares and feeling trapped, it sounds like the emotional toll is substantial. Therapy can provide tools to deal with the anxiety, fear, and emotional exhaustion you're facing.

3. Have an Honest Conversation with Your Partner

If you’re open to it, having another honest conversation with your partner is necessary. It’s crucial to express exactly how deeply his actions have hurt you and the trust that's been broken. Sometimes, people engage in harmful behaviors because they feel disconnected or need validation, but understanding the root of this issue is important for any potential healing. However, for this conversation to be productive, your partner needs to be fully open, accountable, and willing to take responsibility for his actions. If you don’t feel like he’s truly taking responsibility or making efforts to change, it will be hard to rebuild trust.

4. Set Boundaries and Determine What You Need

You may want to consider setting clear boundaries moving forward. For example, if your partner wants to continue the relationship, it’s important to discuss what steps he is willing to take to prove his commitment to repairing the damage. Is he willing to seek therapy? Can he prove that he is committed to the family and rebuilding trust? Can he make changes in his behavior to show he is prioritizing you and your daughter?

Additionally, if you’re not ready to make decisions about your future, it's okay to take a step back and give yourself time. The pressure to “decide” immediately after betrayal is immense, and taking time to think things through can provide clarity.

5. Focus on Yourself and Your Daughter

Your well-being, as well as your daughter’s, should be a top priority. You deserve a life of peace, trust, and respect. Ensure you have support systems in place, whether that’s close friends, family, or professional counseling.

Your daughter deserves a loving and stable environment. If you decide that continuing the relationship with your partner is no longer an option, it’s important to create a safe and nurturing home environment for her.

6. Don’t Rush Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful thing, but it should not be rushed. Forgiving someone does not mean forgetting what happened or excusing their behavior—it’s a process that should come when you're ready, not because you're pressured to move past it.

It may help to explore what forgiveness means for you personally. Is it something that involves rebuilding trust? Does it mean finding peace even if your relationship changes? Giving yourself time and space to understand what forgiveness would look like for you can help clarify your next steps.

7. Reevaluate the Relationship

After all of this, you may find that the relationship has fundamentally changed. Sometimes people do things that make it impossible to return to what the relationship once was, and it's important to accept that. This doesn’t mean that you failed—it means you're recognizing what’s truly healthy for you and your family moving forward.

You deserve respect, trust, and kindness. If your partner’s behavior has shown a lack of respect for your boundaries and your family, that’s a serious issue that requires honest introspection.

Ultimately, you’re not alone in this. Reaching out to trusted friends or family for support can help you feel less isolated. You deserve peace, healing, and to make the choices that are best for your emotional health and well-being, as well as your daughter’s future.