It's commendable that you recognize the need for open communication with your husband, especially after experiencing so many significant life changes together. Here’s a structured approach to help you navigate this delicate conversation.

1. Set the Stage for the Conversation

Choose a comfortable setting where both of you can talk without interruptions. This could be during a quiet evening at home or a walk in a peaceful park. Make sure both of you are in a relaxed mood, as this will facilitate a more open dialogue.

2. Start with Positivity

Begin the conversation with positive affirmations about your relationship. You might say:

"I want you to know how much I appreciate everything we’ve built together over the years. I truly value our relationship and the love we share."

3. Express Your Feelings Using "I" Statements

Instead of placing blame, focus on your feelings. This helps prevent your husband from feeling attacked or defensive. For example:

"I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by emotions that I haven’t expressed, and I think it’s affecting our relationship."

4. Acknowledge Your Own Contributions

It’s important to take responsibility for your part in the communication struggles. You could say:

"I know that I haven’t always communicated my feelings well, and I’m working on that. I want to be better for both of us."

5. Bring Up Specific Issues Gently

When discussing specific issues, frame them in a way that highlights your feelings rather than his actions. For instance:

"There have been moments when I felt neglected during our busy times, and it made me feel isolated. I’d love to talk about how we can support each other better during those times."

6. Encourage Him to Share His Feelings

After expressing your feelings, invite him to share his perspective. You might ask:

"How do you feel about what I just shared? I’d really like to hear your thoughts and feelings too."

7. Focus on Solutions Together

After discussing the past and present, shift the conversation towards finding solutions together. You could suggest:

"Let’s come up with a plan to improve our communication. Maybe we can set aside some time each week to check in with each other?"

8. Be Patient and Open to Ongoing Conversations

Understand that this may not be a one-time conversation. Emotions can be complex, and it may take time to unpack everything. Be open to revisiting these topics as needed.

9. Consider Professional Help if Necessary

If you find that communication remains challenging, seeking the help of a couples therapist can provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and learn better communication strategies.

Conclusion

Remember, the goal of this conversation is to foster understanding and connection. By approaching the discussion with love, empathy, and a willingness to listen, you can create a space where both you and your husband feel safe to express your feelings and work toward a healthier communication dynamic.