My boyfriend (19M) went to visit this guy today who I know doesn’t like me. Earlier this year, he sent me a bunch of really disgusting and rude messages, which caused a lot of tension between us. My boyfriend hadn’t spoken to him since, but yesterday he decided to go see him to get some pants back, which I was okay with, as long as it was just for the pants. However, when he went to meet him today, he couldn’t get the pants and ended up deciding to hang out with him instead. I was uncomfortable with that, especially considering everything his friend had said to me (the messages were some of the nastiest things you can say to someone). I was home, cutting a pomegranate when I saw that my phone had been blowing up. I saw texts saying things like "you cheated" and "call me back," so I called him back, assuming maybe he was worried because I didn’t answer earlier. When I called him, he told me that his friend’s ex said I had told her that I cheated on him. But I never did. I’m not even that close with her— we’ve hung out maybe four times, and when we talked about relationships, it was mostly about her awful boyfriend and how she should leave him, which caused the whole situation with his friend messaging me all those horrible things. I asked her if she said anything about me, and she said no. The only things she mentioned were about her cheating on him. But my boyfriend doesn’t believe me. He thinks, "Why would they lie?" I have my own theory about why his friend might be lying— he doesn’t like me, and he’s probably mad that my boyfriend doesn’t talk to him anymore, or he might’ve misheard the conversation with his ex. Sorry for the long post and run-on sentences. I’m just really stressed out right now and don’t know how to prove to my boyfriend that I never cheated. I’m going to see him later, so I’ll update you afterward.

No products in cart

Ai Content Generator

Ai Picture

Tell Your Story

Amaya Janie

My boyfriend (19M) went to visit this guy today who I know doesn’t like me. Earlier this year, he sent me a bunch of really disgusting and rude messages, which caused a lot of tension between us. My boyfriend hadn’t spoken to him since, but yesterday he decided to go see him to get some pants back, which I was okay with, as long as it was just for the pants. However, when he went to meet him today, he couldn’t get the pants and ended up deciding to hang out with him instead. I was uncomfortable with that, especially considering everything his friend had said to me (the messages were some of the nastiest things you can say to someone). I was home, cutting a pomegranate when I saw that my phone had been blowing up. I saw texts saying things like "you cheated" and "call me back," so I called him back, assuming maybe he was worried because I didn’t answer earlier. When I called him, he told me that his friend’s ex said I had told her that I cheated on him. But I never did. I’m not even that close with her— we’ve hung out maybe four times, and when we talked about relationships, it was mostly about her awful boyfriend and how she should leave him, which caused the whole situation with his friend messaging me all those horrible things. I asked her if she said anything about me, and she said no. The only things she mentioned were about her cheating on him. But my boyfriend doesn’t believe me. He thinks, "Why would they lie?" I have my own theory about why his friend might be lying— he doesn’t like me, and he’s probably mad that my boyfriend doesn’t talk to him anymore, or he might’ve misheard the conversation with his ex. Sorry for the long post and run-on sentences. I’m just really stressed out right now and don’t know how to prove to my boyfriend that I never cheated. I’m going to see him later, so I’ll update you afterward.

a month ago

It sounds like you're going through a really difficult situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling stressed and anxious. Here are some steps and considerations that might help you navigate this challenge with your boyfriend:

1. Clear Communication

When you see your boyfriend, try to have a calm and open discussion about what happened. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when misunderstandings arise. Here are a few tips:

Express Your Feelings: Let him know how the situation made you feel. Use "I" statements, such as "I felt hurt when I heard about the accusation" instead of "You don’t believe me." This can help prevent him from feeling attacked.
Clarify the Situation: Explain your side of the story clearly. Emphasize that you have not cheated and that the only conversations you had with his friend’s ex were not about infidelity.

2. Evidence of Trust

To help reassure your boyfriend, you could suggest looking for evidence that supports your honesty:

Talk to His Friend’s Ex: If comfortable, perhaps you could suggest that your boyfriend speak directly with her to clarify what was said. It might help if she can corroborate your account.
Reflect on Your Relationship: Remind your boyfriend of your commitment to him. Discuss moments in your relationship that have built trust between you two.

3. Address the Friend’s Influence

It's important to address the role of your boyfriend's friend in this situation. Here are some points to consider:

Discuss His Friend's Behavior: Share your concerns about his friend's previous messages and how they may have influenced the current situation. It's valid to question the motives of someone who has previously shown animosity towards you.
Encourage Boundaries: If your boyfriend's friend is causing tension, discuss setting boundaries with him. It’s okay for your boyfriend to prioritize your relationship over friendships that bring negativity.

4. Rebuilding Trust

Trust can be fragile, but it can also be rebuilt with time and effort. Here are some ways to work on that:

Be Consistent: Continue to be honest and transparent in all your interactions. Trust is built through consistent behavior over time.
Engage in Activities Together: Spend quality time together to strengthen your bond. Engaging in fun and positive experiences can help alleviate some of the tension.

5. Seek Support

If the situation escalates or becomes too overwhelming, consider seeking support from friends or a counselor. Sometimes, having an outside perspective can help clarify things.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Lastly, remember to take care of your own emotional well-being. Engage in activities that help you relax and destress, whether that's journaling, exercising, or spending time with supportive friends or family.

Ultimately, it’s important for both you and your boyfriend to feel secure and trusted in the relationship. If he sees your commitment and honesty, it may help him come to terms with the situation. Good luck, and I hope your conversation goes well!

User Comments

There are no more blogs to show

Home Shop Groups