It’s completely understandable to feel uncomfortable about staying overnight at your boyfriend’s parents’ house, especially given the dynamics involved. Here are several points to consider that might help clarify your feelings and facilitate a productive conversation with your boyfriend.

1. Personal Comfort and Boundaries

Staying over at someone else's home can be a significant adjustment, particularly when you don’t know the family well. It's important to prioritize your own comfort and boundaries in a relationship. You mentioned feeling odd about the situation, which is a valid feeling. Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to being in someone else's space, especially when it involves family dynamics. It’s perfectly reasonable to prefer your own home, where you feel secure and in control.

2. The Role of Compromise

Your boyfriend’s desire to spend time together in his home is understandable, especially since he pays rent and feels a sense of ownership. However, relationships thrive on compromise. You might suggest setting a schedule where you alternate between staying at your place and his. This way, he can enjoy the space he pays for, while you can gradually become more comfortable with the idea of staying at his house.

3. Communication is Key

Have an open discussion with your boyfriend about your feelings regarding his home. Explain that it’s not a matter of not wanting to spend time with him, but rather about your comfort levels and the dynamics of his living situation. You might say something like, “I appreciate that you want to spend time together, but I find it challenging to stay over at your parents’ house. Can we find a compromise that works for both of us?” This approach emphasizes your willingness to find a middle ground.

4. Understanding His Perspective

While you may feel uncomfortable, it’s also important to understand your boyfriend’s perspective. He might feel that you are avoiding spending time in his living environment, which could lead to feelings of rejection or frustration. Acknowledging his feelings can help bridge the gap between your differing comfort levels.

5. Gradual Exposure

If you’re open to it, consider spending shorter visits at his house initially, gradually increasing the time spent there as you get to know his family better. This can help ease you into the environment and potentially make you feel more at home over time. For instance, you could start with daytime visits and progress to staying for dinner, and eventually, an overnight stay.

6. Involving Your Son

Since you have an 18-year-old son, consider how he feels about the situation as well. If he’s comfortable, perhaps you could plan family gatherings that include both your boyfriend and his family. This way, you create a more inclusive environment that could help you feel more at ease with the family dynamics.

7. Seeking External Perspectives

Sometimes it helps to get external opinions. You might consider discussing this with friends or family members who have been in similar situations. Their insights could provide you with additional perspectives and coping strategies.

In conclusion, it’s essential to communicate openly with your boyfriend about your feelings while also being receptive to his perspective. Relationships require mutual understanding, and finding a balance that respects both your needs and his will help strengthen your bond.