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I need advice. I'm in high school now, and I've liked this boy for years. At first, I was too shy to say anything because I have zero confidence, which played a big part. Over the years, I've watched him date, break up, and date again. Not to sound corny, but I was really jealous. We never really talked because I was too shy, but sometimes I’d catch him looking at me in class. Other times, he wouldn’t even notice me. In the past couple of years, I tried having others tell him I like him, but it didn’t go anywhere. Now that I’m in high school, I feel like I should make a move, but every time I try, it doesn’t work out. My friend recently told him that I’ve liked him for a while, so now he knows—but he’s talking to someone else now, and it hurts. I really like him; he was my first love, but I’m getting tired of waiting and feeling stuck. He gives me mixed signals—sometimes acting like he likes me, other times completely distant. I can’t seem to get over him, but it’s so hard to watch him date other people. It hurts a lot, and I don’t know what to do. Should I let it go or try something else?

a month ago
13

It’s completely normal to feel confused and hurt in this situation, especially since you’ve had feelings for this boy for such a long time. Here are some thoughts and suggestions that may help you navigate this emotional landscape:

Acknowledge Your Feelings:

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel jealous and hurt when you see someone you like dating others. These emotions are valid, and recognizing them is the first step toward dealing with them.

Understand His Mixed Signals:

Mixed signals can be incredibly frustrating. Sometimes, people are unaware of how their actions affect others. If he occasionally looks at you or seems interested, it might mean he has some feelings for you, but it could also mean he’s simply curious. His current relationship status complicates things further, and he might not be ready to engage with you while he’s involved with someone else.

Focus on Building Confidence:

Building your confidence can be a game changer. Start by engaging in activities that make you feel good about yourself. This could be sports, arts, or joining clubs. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends can also boost your self-esteem. As you become more comfortable in your skin, approaching him or anyone else may feel less daunting.

Consider Direct Communication:

Since he knows you like him now, you might think about having a straightforward conversation. If you feel ready, you could express your feelings directly. For instance, you could say something like, "I know you’re seeing someone, but I just wanted to let you know that I’ve liked you for a long time. I value our friendship and just wanted to be honest about how I feel." This way, you’re being open without putting too much pressure on him.

Give Yourself Permission to Move On:

If he’s currently dating someone else, it may be worth considering that it could be time to let go of your feelings for him. This doesn’t mean you have to forget him entirely, but allowing yourself to explore other friendships and potential relationships can be liberating. You deserve to be with someone who reciprocates your feelings.

Surround Yourself with Support:

Talk to friends or family about how you’re feeling. Sharing your experiences can provide relief and perspective. They may also offer advice based on their own experiences, which can be incredibly valuable.

Reflect on Your Own Needs:

Consider what you truly want in a relationship. Do you want someone who is emotionally available? Are you ready for a relationship? Understanding your own needs can guide you in making decisions moving forward.

Take Time for Yourself:

Lastly, take some time to focus on yourself. Engage in hobbies, pursue your passions, and invest in personal growth. This time can help you gain clarity about your feelings and what you want in life beyond this crush.

Remember, high school is a time for exploration and growth. Whatever you decide to do, prioritize your happiness and well-being. You’re not alone in this—many people face similar situations, and it’s all part of growing up.

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