It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation, and it’s understandable that you're feeling confused and unsure of how to proceed. Relationships require trust, and when there are things from the past that haven’t been fully addressed or that seem suspicious, it can be difficult to move forward with clarity. Here are some suggestions for how you can handle the situation:

1. Calm Yourself and Process Your Emotions First

It’s clear that you're feeling a mix of confusion, anger, and hurt. It’s important to take a step back and process these emotions before confronting your fiancée. Reacting impulsively could make the situation worse. Give yourself some time to reflect on what you've discovered, what your needs are in this relationship, and how you want to approach the conversation.

2. Respect Boundaries While Seeking the Truth

While you may feel the need to know everything about your fiancée’s past, it’s essential to approach this in a respectful and constructive way. Going through her personal information, like her emails or messages, without her consent might lead to further issues with trust and privacy. Although your intentions were to find answers, you might consider acknowledging that violation of privacy when you speak to her. This shows accountability on your part as well.

3. Have an Honest, Calm, and Direct Conversation

When you're ready, have a calm and direct conversation with her. It’s important to approach this in a way that isn’t accusatory, but instead focused on seeking clarity and expressing your concerns. For example, you can say:

"I came across something recently, and it’s left me feeling uncertain. I want to have an open and honest conversation with you about it. I want us to continue building our relationship with trust and honesty, and I need to understand if there are things from your past that I should know about."

4. Ask Open-Ended Questions and Give Her Space to Respond

Be sure to ask questions that invite her to explain things in her own words, rather than jumping to conclusions. For example:

• "I found some messages that left me feeling concerned. Can you explain what they were about?"
• "I understand you’ve had past experiences, but I need to know what happened to help me understand you better. Could we talk about this?"
• "When I ask about your past, I feel like you might be holding back some information. Can you help me understand why?"

Make sure to give her time to respond thoughtfully and without feeling cornered. Listen to her side of the story and let her speak openly.

5. Consider the Bigger Picture

You’ve mentioned that you love her and trust her in the present, which is a positive sign. While it’s normal to be affected by things from the past, it’s also important to think about whether her actions align with the values and future you want. Does the way she responds help rebuild your trust in her? Are there deeper issues with communication and transparency that need to be addressed?

6. Set Boundaries Moving Forward

If the conversation reveals things that are difficult for you to accept, take time to think about what boundaries you need in order to feel safe and secure in the relationship. This might involve setting clearer communication expectations, being more transparent with each other, or seeking therapy together to address trust issues.

7. Consider Professional Help (Couples Therapy)

Given that you're both living together, engaged, and considering a future together, couples therapy could help provide a neutral space for both of you to work through these difficult topics. It could also help you both communicate more openly and build trust.

8. Reflect on Your Own Needs and Limits

Lastly, take some time to reflect on your needs, values, and boundaries. Are there things in her past that you’re able to accept and work through, or are there things that are dealbreakers for you? Trust is essential, and while everyone has a past, it’s important to understand what you need to feel secure in the future.

Remember, relationships require both partners to be open, honest, and supportive. It’s okay to have doubts and seek clarity, but make sure you're both committed to building trust and addressing issues in a healthy way.