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I’m 16 years old and I like someone who is also my friend. I really want to be with him, and he’s about 70%-80% like what I imagine in someone I’d like to be with. The issue is that he doesn’t have the same feelings towards me. We have some mutual friends who are offering to help me, but my mom doesn’t want me to have a boyfriend at my age. I love my mom, and I don’t want to hurt her, but at the same time, I don’t want to lose this chance with him. What should I do?

a month ago
34

It's understandable to feel conflicted in this situation. At 16, emotions can run high, especially when it comes to friendships and romantic interests. Here are some steps to consider as you navigate this complex scenario:

1. Understand Your Feelings

First, take some time to reflect on your feelings for him. Ask yourself:

  • What do I like about him?
  • Why do I want to be in a relationship with him?
  • Am I ready for the responsibilities that come with having a boyfriend?

Understanding your emotions can help you make more informed decisions.

2. Consider His Feelings

Since he doesn’t share the same feelings, it's important to respect that. People can have different priorities and feelings at your age. Trying to pursue someone who isn’t interested can lead to frustration and hurt. If he sees you only as a friend, it might be best to maintain that friendship without complicating things.

3. Talk to Your Mutual Friends

Your friends are offering to help, but consider whether their involvement is truly beneficial. Sometimes, friends can unintentionally create pressure or awkward situations. Instead, you could:

  • Share your feelings with them and ask for their support in a way that respects both you and him.
  • Seek advice on how to handle your feelings without pushing him away.

4. Communicate with Your Mom

Having an open dialogue with your mom is crucial. Here are some points to discuss:

  • Explain your feelings in a calm and mature manner. Help her understand that liking someone is a normal part of growing up.
  • Ask her about her concerns regarding dating. This can lead to a better understanding between both of you.
  • Reassure her that you value your relationship with her and that you want to maintain open communication.

5. Focus on Friendship

If pursuing a romantic relationship isn’t feasible right now, consider focusing on building a strong friendship. This can help you:

  • Understand each other better.
  • Give him the space to potentially develop feelings in the future.
  • Ensure that you don’t lose a valuable friendship.

6. Be Open to Other Opportunities

While it’s natural to be drawn to a particular person, remember that there are many potential relationships out there. Being open to meeting new people can help you:

  • Discover new interests and connections.
  • Shift your focus away from just one person.

Conclusion

Ultimately, it’s important to balance your feelings with respect for his and your mom’s concerns. Navigating friendships and feelings can be challenging, but taking a thoughtful approach will help you find the best path forward. Remember, you're still young, and there's plenty of time to explore relationships in the future!

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