I (40M) have been with my girlfriend (38F) for over 20 years. We have two kids, aged 7 and 3, and while we’re a happy and functional family, finding time for ourselves as a couple has become nearly impossible. We don’t have family nearby to help with babysitting, so the idea of doing something as simple as going on a date has been a challenge. In fact, over the past 7 years, we've only managed to have about five occasions where we could spend a few hours alone together. Recently, we've been facing some struggles in our relationship. One issue has been the lack of time together, and to add to that, my girlfriend has been doing more things on her own with other people, which has stirred some feelings of jealousy for me. It's become clear that we need to make time for each other, which is why I’m focusing on making our upcoming date really special. This Saturday, we’re going to a concert in the afternoon, followed by lunch. The kids will be with their aunt and cousins, giving us a few hours to reconnect. I want to make this experience meaningful since it will be the first time in over a year that we’ve had a proper date. While I know her well after all these years, I’d like to surprise her with something a little different, something out of the ordinary, to remind her of the excitement and connection we had early on in our relationship. I want it to feel fresh, despite the years that have passed. As it’s been a while since I’ve been in the dating mindset, I’m reaching out for advice from others who have managed to keep the spark alive in long-term relationships. What are some thoughtful or unexpected ideas to make this date extra special? Additionally, if anyone has experience with balancing family life and maintaining a couple’s connection when you rarely have time for yourselves, I’d love some tips. How do you maintain intimacy and quality time when juggling kids, work, and everything else? TL;DR: After a year without a proper date, my girlfriend and I are going out this Saturday. I want to make it special, but I also want to create a meaningful experience that reminds her of our early connection. How do you manage date nights and quality time in long-term relationships with kids, and what ideas can make a simple date feel extraordinary?

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Ken Luther

I (40M) have been with my girlfriend (38F) for over 20 years. We have two kids, aged 7 and 3, and while we’re a happy and functional family, finding time for ourselves as a couple has become nearly impossible. We don’t have family nearby to help with babysitting, so the idea of doing something as simple as going on a date has been a challenge. In fact, over the past 7 years, we've only managed to have about five occasions where we could spend a few hours alone together. Recently, we've been facing some struggles in our relationship. One issue has been the lack of time together, and to add to that, my girlfriend has been doing more things on her own with other people, which has stirred some feelings of jealousy for me. It's become clear that we need to make time for each other, which is why I’m focusing on making our upcoming date really special. This Saturday, we’re going to a concert in the afternoon, followed by lunch. The kids will be with their aunt and cousins, giving us a few hours to reconnect. I want to make this experience meaningful since it will be the first time in over a year that we’ve had a proper date. While I know her well after all these years, I’d like to surprise her with something a little different, something out of the ordinary, to remind her of the excitement and connection we had early on in our relationship. I want it to feel fresh, despite the years that have passed. As it’s been a while since I’ve been in the dating mindset, I’m reaching out for advice from others who have managed to keep the spark alive in long-term relationships. What are some thoughtful or unexpected ideas to make this date extra special? Additionally, if anyone has experience with balancing family life and maintaining a couple’s connection when you rarely have time for yourselves, I’d love some tips. How do you maintain intimacy and quality time when juggling kids, work, and everything else? TL;DR: After a year without a proper date, my girlfriend and I are going out this Saturday. I want to make it special, but I also want to create a meaningful experience that reminds her of our early connection. How do you manage date nights and quality time in long-term relationships with kids, and what ideas can make a simple date feel extraordinary?

a month ago

It’s wonderful that you’re prioritizing time for you and your girlfriend. Here are some thoughtful ideas to make your upcoming date extra special and help you maintain intimacy in your long-term relationship.

Create a Nostalgic Experience

Think back to the early days of your relationship. Consider incorporating elements that remind both of you of those times. Here are some ideas:

Memory Lane: Before the concert, take a stroll through a park or area that holds special memories for you both. Reminisce about your first dates, share stories, and laugh about the past.
Playlist of Memories: Create a playlist of songs that were significant to your relationship and play it in the car on your way to the concert or while having lunch.

Surprise Elements

Surprises can add excitement to your date. Here are a few unexpected ideas:

Gift of Love: Consider giving her a small, meaningful gift—like a handwritten letter expressing your feelings or a simple piece of jewelry that symbolizes your relationship.
Photo Scavenger Hunt: Turn your date into a fun activity by creating a photo scavenger hunt. Prepare a list of things to find or recreate photos from your past together.

Quality Time Beyond the Date

To maintain intimacy and connection in the long run, consider these tips:

Schedule Regular Date Nights: Even if it’s just at home after the kids go to bed, prioritize time together. Set a recurring date night on your calendar to ensure it happens.
Engage in Shared Activities: Find hobbies or activities you both enjoy. Whether it’s cooking, gardening, or exercising, doing things together can strengthen your bond.
Communicate Openly: Share your feelings about jealousy and the need for connection. Open communication helps you both understand each other’s needs better.

Utilize Technology

In today’s digital age, technology can help bridge the gap:

Video Dates: If you can’t find time to go out, consider scheduling video calls during the week where you can chat and catch up.
Apps for Couples: Use apps designed for couples that offer daily questions or prompts to foster deeper conversations.

Final Thoughts

Remember, the goal is to reconnect and enjoy each other's company. Focus on being present during your date, and embrace the moments of laughter and connection. Your efforts to make this date special will undoubtedly strengthen your relationship and help you both feel valued and loved.

Enjoy your concert and lunch together—it sounds like a wonderful opportunity to rekindle that spark!

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