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I recently ended a 4-year relationship with my boyfriend (28M) because he treated me poorly and struggled with an addiction. Things really started to fall apart when we moved in together during the last year of our relationship, and that’s when I found out the truth about him. Since the breakup, I’ve been managing everything on my own, including paying rent, and it’s been really tough. Each month, I’m barely getting by, and I’m not sure how, but I’m somehow managing—probably thanks to some divine help. I’m seriously considering moving down south because I can’t afford living here anymore. I started a new job around the same time we broke up, and it’s been a learning experience. However, I’m starting to realize that I don’t really enjoy it. The office is very busy, and while I initially liked everyone, I’ve noticed some girls being fake and mean. I’d like to stick it out for a year, but they’re making it difficult. I made one mistake, and now one of the women has made it a point to embarrass me in front of everyone. I liked her at first, but now I don’t feel the same way. I regret trusting people and being nice to everyone. I’m just feeling really down. I’ve been at this job for almost six months, and I think I do a good job, but I’m just not sure what to do anymore. I have a bachelor’s degree, but it feels like I’m not getting paid enough to even pay off my student loans. I feel stuck and like I want to run away, but I also have an 8-year-old daughter who means everything to me. I don’t want to uproot her life, as stability is important to me. I’m just feeling really sad and lost right now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Answer & Advice: First of all, I want to acknowledge how much you're juggling right now. Breakups are already emotionally draining, and it sounds like you're facing financial and work struggles on top of that. It’s a lot for anyone to handle, but you’re doing the best you can, and that’s commendable. Here are a few things to think about: 1. Your Mental and Emotional Health: It’s clear you’ve been through a lot, and it’s understandable that you feel sad and overwhelmed. Emotional burnout is real, especially when you’re shouldering so many responsibilities on your own. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your daughter, and it's okay to give yourself some grace. Consider finding some time for self-care, whether it's taking a break, talking to a therapist, or leaning on trusted friends or family. Don’t hesitate to reach out for emotional support when you need it. 2. Your Job Situation: It's tough when work feels like a constant source of stress, especially when you're not enjoying it. Given that you have a bachelor’s degree, it’s worth exploring other job opportunities in your field. If you’re not happy at this office and the work environment feels toxic, it might be better for your mental well-being to look elsewhere. You’ve got the skills and qualifications, and while the job market can be challenging, there are often opportunities that align more with what you're looking for. You can also explore freelance work or side gigs that may provide more flexibility and financial stability. 3. Financial Concerns and Moving: It’s completely understandable that you’re considering moving if you can’t afford to live where you are. Moving can be a big change, especially with a child, but it’s also important to prioritize your well-being and financial stability. If moving south is something you’re seriously thinking about, consider looking into cost-of-living comparisons to find a place that is more affordable but still offers good opportunities for both you and your daughter. 4. Balancing Stability and Change: You’re right to want stability for your daughter, and that’s incredibly admirable. However, if your current situation isn’t sustainable in the long run, it may be worth considering a change. It’s possible to find a balance between creating stability for your daughter and making necessary changes for yourself. Start small—maybe research potential job opportunities in a more affordable area, and talk with family or close friends to get their perspectives and support. 5. Student Loan and Financial Planning: With your bachelor’s degree and current financial struggles, it may be helpful to talk to a financial advisor who can help you create a plan to manage your student loans and budget for the future. There may be resources available to help ease that burden, such as refinancing options or programs to reduce the impact of student loan payments. 6. Be Kind to Yourself: It’s easy to feel like you need to have everything figured out right now, but you’re doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself through this process. Give yourself permission to take things one step at a time, even if it feels like the steps are small. Change is hard, but with determination and the right support, you’ll find your way. You’re facing challenges, but I believe you can work through them, especially with the love and motivation you have for your daughter. Keep believing in yourself, and take it one day at a time. You’ve already proven that you’re strong by navigating so much already—keep taking care of yourself, and the right opportunities will come your way.

a month ago
179

First of all, I want to acknowledge how much you're juggling right now. Breakups are already emotionally draining, and it sounds like you're facing financial and work struggles on top of that. It’s a lot for anyone to handle, but you’re doing the best you can, and that’s commendable.

Here are a few things to think about:

  1. Your Mental and Emotional Health:
  2. It’s clear you’ve been through a lot, and it’s understandable that you feel sad and overwhelmed. Emotional burnout is real, especially when you’re shouldering so many responsibilities on your own. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your daughter, and it's okay to give yourself some grace. Consider finding some time for self-care, whether it's taking a break, talking to a therapist, or leaning on trusted friends or family. Don’t hesitate to reach out for emotional support when you need it.
  3. Your Job Situation:
  4. It's tough when work feels like a constant source of stress, especially when you're not enjoying it. Given that you have a bachelor’s degree, it’s worth exploring other job opportunities in your field. If you’re not happy at this office and the work environment feels toxic, it might be better for your mental well-being to look elsewhere. You’ve got the skills and qualifications, and while the job market can be challenging, there are often opportunities that align more with what you're looking for. You can also explore freelance work or side gigs that may provide more flexibility and financial stability.
  5. Financial Concerns and Moving:
  6. It’s completely understandable that you’re considering moving if you can’t afford to live where you are. Moving can be a big change, especially with a child, but it’s also important to prioritize your well-being and financial stability. If moving south is something you’re seriously thinking about, consider looking into cost-of-living comparisons to find a place that is more affordable but still offers good opportunities for both you and your daughter.
  7. Balancing Stability and Change:
  8. You’re right to want stability for your daughter, and that’s incredibly admirable. However, if your current situation isn’t sustainable in the long run, it may be worth considering a change. It’s possible to find a balance between creating stability for your daughter and making necessary changes for yourself. Start small—maybe research potential job opportunities in a more affordable area, and talk with family or close friends to get their perspectives and support.
  9. Student Loan and Financial Planning:
  10. With your bachelor’s degree and current financial struggles, it may be helpful to talk to a financial advisor who can help you create a plan to manage your student loans and budget for the future. There may be resources available to help ease that burden, such as refinancing options or programs to reduce the impact of student loan payments.
  11. Be Kind to Yourself:
  12. It’s easy to feel like you need to have everything figured out right now, but you’re doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself through this process. Give yourself permission to take things one step at a time, even if it feels like the steps are small. Change is hard, but with determination and the right support, you’ll find your way.

You’re facing challenges, but I believe you can work through them, especially with the love and motivation you have for your daughter. Keep believing in yourself, and take it one day at a time. You’ve already proven that you’re strong by navigating so much already—keep taking care of yourself, and the right opportunities will come your way.

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