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For most of my year-long relationship with my boyfriend (18M), he has told me that I’m the love of his life and that he wants to marry me. However, today, after I expressed feeling like I’m not a priority sometimes, he admitted that while he loves me, he doesn’t want to get married and doesn’t see me as the love of his life. I didn’t expect him to want marriage immediately, but I trusted what he had said in the past. Now I feel heartbroken and betrayed. I love him so much, and I’m not sure what to do.

a month ago
36

First and foremost, I want to acknowledge the pain and confusion you must be feeling right now. Discovering that someone you love has not been honest about their feelings can be incredibly hurtful and disorienting. It's important to take a moment to reflect on your emotions and recognize that it's okay to feel heartbroken and betrayed.

In relationships, communication is key. It sounds like you expressed your feelings of not being prioritized, which is a healthy step in any relationship. His response, however, revealed a deeper issue: a mismatch between his words and his true feelings. This can lead to a significant trust issue that may be hard to overcome.

Here are some steps you can consider taking:

  • Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to think about what you truly want from this relationship. Do you still see a future with him, or do you feel that the foundation of trust has been shaken too much to continue?
  • Communicate Openly: Have a candid conversation with him about how his revelation has affected you. Explain why his previous statements about wanting to marry you were meaningful and how learning the truth has impacted your perception of the relationship.
  • Set Boundaries: If you choose to continue the relationship, it’s crucial to establish what you need moving forward. This might include clearer communication about feelings, priorities, and future goals.
  • Consider Seeking Support: Talk to friends or family members about your feelings. Sometimes, gaining perspective from those who care about you can help you process your emotions more effectively.
  • Give Yourself Time: Healing from this kind of emotional turmoil takes time. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship as you thought it was, and don’t rush into any decisions about the future.

It's also important to recognize that love is complex, and sometimes people say things they don’t fully mean, especially at a young age. However, this does not excuse dishonesty. Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, and rebuilding it can be challenging.

Ultimately, you deserve a partner who is honest about their feelings and intentions. If you find that you cannot reconcile your feelings with his actions, it might be worth considering whether this relationship is serving your emotional well-being in the long run.

Remember to prioritize your own needs and happiness as you navigate this difficult situation. Whatever decision you make, ensure it aligns with what you want and deserve in a loving relationship.

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