It sounds like you’re in a very challenging situation, and it’s important to prioritize your well-being and happiness. Here are some points to consider as you navigate your feelings and decide what to do next:

Understanding Your Feelings

Firstly, it’s crucial to reflect on your own emotions. You mentioned that you love him, but you also recognize some red flags in his behavior. It’s normal to have mixed feelings in a relationship, especially when there are positive aspects alongside concerning behaviors. Take some time to think about:

• What do you love about him? Is it his personality, humor, or how he treats you? Make a list to clarify your feelings.
• What are the deal-breakers for you? Consider whether his homophobic tendencies and possessive behavior are things you can accept or if they fundamentally conflict with your values.

Recognizing Red Flags

It’s essential to recognize that some behaviors can be red flags in a relationship:

• Possessiveness: His statement about not being able to live without you suggests a level of dependency that can become unhealthy.
• Control over friendships: Telling you not to hug your gay male friends indicates insecurity and a lack of respect for your autonomy.
• Homophobia: Even if he claims to love you and wants to change, his past behavior shows a need for significant personal growth.

Assessing Compatibility

You’ve already expressed doubts about your long-term compatibility. It’s important to consider whether you can envision a future together where he respects your identity and beliefs. Ask yourself:

• Can you see him genuinely changing, or do you feel he’s only saying what you want to hear?
• Are you willing to invest time and energy into helping him understand your perspective?

Setting Boundaries

If you decide to stay in the relationship, it’s vital to establish clear boundaries. You deserve to be with someone who supports you fully and respects your identity. Consider:

• Communicating your needs: Be open about what behaviors are unacceptable to you and why.
• Encouraging him to seek support: Suggest he engage with resources or communities that can help him understand different perspectives on sexuality and relationships.

Considering a Breakup

On the other hand, if you feel that the relationship is more harmful than beneficial, it might be time to consider a breakup. Remember:

• You don’t have to teach someone how to treat you: A healthy relationship involves mutual respect and understanding without needing to educate your partner constantly.
• It’s okay to prioritize your mental health: If his behavior is causing you distress, walking away could be the best option for your well-being.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, the decision is yours. Trust your instincts and take the time you need to weigh your options. Surround yourself with supportive friends and consider speaking to someone who can help you sort through your feelings, like a counselor or trusted mentor.

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, loved, and respected for who you are. Whatever you decide, prioritize your happiness and well-being above all.