It sounds like you’re navigating a complex situation in your relationship, and it’s commendable that you’re considering how to approach this sensitive topic with your girlfriend. Here are some steps and suggestions to help you communicate your feelings effectively:

Understanding the Context

First, it’s important to recognize the factors influencing your girlfriend’s behavior:

• First Relationship: Since this is her first relationship, she may be unsure about how to express affection or navigate romantic dynamics.
• Strict Family Background: Growing up in a strict environment can significantly impact her comfort level with physical touch and emotional intimacy.
• Love Language Awareness: While she has expressed that her love language is physical touch, her ability to act on that may be limited by her upbringing and personal comfort.

Reflect on Your Feelings

Before discussing your concerns with her, take some time to reflect on your own feelings:

• What do you miss? Consider specific examples of physical or emotional connection that you feel are lacking.
• What do you want? Identify what you hope to achieve from the conversation. Is it more physical affection, deeper emotional conversations, or both?

Choosing the Right Time and Place

Timing and environment can play a significant role in how well this conversation goes. Here are some tips:

• Private Setting: Choose a comfortable, private space where both of you can speak openly without distractions.
• Relaxed Atmosphere: Ensure that both of you are in a good mood and not preoccupied with external stressors.

How to Approach the Conversation

When you’re ready to talk, consider the following structure:

• Start with Positives: Begin the conversation by expressing what you appreciate about her and the relationship. For example, "I really enjoy spending time with you and I value our connection."
• Share Your Feelings: Use “I” statements to express how you feel. For instance, "I feel like our relationship has a strong friendship vibe, and I’d love to explore the romantic side more." This helps to avoid placing blame and keeps the focus on your feelings.
• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage her to share her thoughts. You might ask, "How do you feel about the level of physical affection in our relationship?" This invites her to express her perspective.
• Be Patient and Listen: Give her space to respond and actively listen to what she has to say. She may have her own concerns or feelings about the relationship.

Discussing Boundaries and Comfort Levels

Since she comes from a strict background, it’s essential to discuss boundaries:

• Acknowledge Her Comfort: Let her know that you respect her boundaries and are willing to take things at a pace that feels comfortable for her.
• Explore Compromises: Discuss ways to gradually increase physical touch, such as holding hands or hugs, and see what she feels comfortable with.

Follow Up and Reassess

After the conversation, make sure to check in with each other regularly:

• Regular Check-Ins: Schedule times to discuss the relationship and how both of you are feeling about the changes you’re trying to implement.
• Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge any positive changes, no matter how small, to reinforce a sense of growth in your relationship.

Conclusion

Communicating about the nature of your relationship is vital for both of you to grow together. By approaching the conversation with care, empathy, and an open heart, you can foster a deeper connection. Remember, relationships take time to develop, and being patient with each other is key.

Good luck, and I hope your conversation leads to a more fulfilling relationship!