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I could use some advice about a situation I’m in. Recently, I met a woman who was previously married but tragically lost her husband last September. We really clicked and started talking around Christmas. We had plans to meet last weekend, but she was busy moving belongings out of their cottage. On Friday, we were supposed to get together, but she ended up having to stay with her family to pack, which took longer than she anticipated. She canceled and suggested we meet on Sunday instead. However, when Sunday rolled around, she had to cancel again because she was at home trying to organize everything she needed to move out. I decided to give her some space, understanding that this must be an emotionally challenging time for her. I think it’s important to be supportive, especially considering the circumstances. We continue to talk daily, and our conversations flow really well. She has expressed that she is very interested in me, but we haven’t been able to make new plans yet since she has two children to care for as a solo parent. I’m trying to be patient with her, which isn’t something I would typically do in a different situation. I’m wondering if I’m handling this the right way. What would you do in my position?

a month ago
50

It sounds like you are navigating a delicate situation with a lot of emotional nuance. Given the context of her recent loss, your patience and understanding are not only commendable but also essential in building a healthy foundation for your relationship. Here are some points to consider:

Understanding Her Situation

Grieving the loss of a spouse is a profound and complex process. Losing a partner can leave an individual feeling overwhelmed, both emotionally and logistically, especially when they have children to care for. The fact that she is still communicating with you regularly is a positive sign that she values your connection, even if circumstances are preventing her from meeting in person.

Being Patient

Your instinct to be patient is indeed the right approach in this scenario. Here are a few reasons why:

  • Emotional Healing: Grieving takes time, and everyone processes loss differently. By allowing her the space to deal with her feelings and responsibilities, you are showing respect for her emotional state.
  • Building Trust: Demonstrating understanding can help build trust between you. It shows that you are willing to support her during a challenging time, which can strengthen your bond.
  • Setting a Precedent: Your current approach establishes a precedent for how you handle challenges in the relationship. If you can navigate this period with empathy, it may encourage her to be open with you about her feelings and needs in the future.

Maintaining Communication

Since you have been able to maintain daily conversations, continue doing so. This can help keep the connection alive while she manages her current responsibilities. You might try saying something like:

"I completely understand that things are hectic right now. Just know that I'm here for you, and whenever you're ready, I would love to meet up!"

Making Future Plans

While being patient is important, it’s also reasonable to express your interest in making future plans. You could suggest a low-pressure meeting, such as:

"When you feel up to it, maybe we could grab a coffee or have a quick chat over the phone? No pressure at all!"

This way, you’re inviting her to take the lead when she feels ready, while also indicating your desire to connect in person.

Considerations for the Future

If your relationship continues to develop, there are a few things to keep in mind:

  • Respect Her Boundaries: If she needs more time, respect that. Pushing too hard could lead to her feeling overwhelmed.
  • Be Prepared for Emotional Moments: As she navigates her grief, there may be moments when she feels sad or distant. Understanding this is key to supporting her.
  • Focus on the Positive: Celebrate the small steps you both take together. This can help foster a sense of hope and joy amidst her challenges.

Conclusion

In summary, your current approach of patience and understanding is appropriate given the circumstances. Continue to communicate openly, allow her space, and be supportive. If the connection is strong and you both feel a mutual interest, this patience can ultimately lead to a deeper and more meaningful relationship.

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