It sounds like you're in a really tough spot, and it's completely understandable to feel hurt when someone you care about says things that are disrespectful, especially during arguments. Communication in relationships is crucial, and the way we express our feelings during conflicts can significantly impact the dynamic between partners. Here are some steps and considerations that might help you navigate this situation:

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

Before addressing the issue with your girlfriend, take some time to reflect on how her insults make you feel. Ask yourself:

• What specific comments hurt the most?
• Why do these comments affect me deeply?
• How do I want to feel during disagreements?

Understanding your emotions can help you articulate them better when discussing the issue with her.

2. Choose the Right Time to Talk

Timing is essential when discussing sensitive topics. Avoid bringing this up during a heated moment. Instead, find a calm time when both of you can talk without distractions. You might say something like:

"Can we sit down and talk about how we handle disagreements? I want to make sure we're both comfortable expressing ourselves."

3. Use 'I' Statements

When you express your feelings, use 'I' statements to avoid sounding accusatory. This can help your girlfriend understand your perspective without feeling attacked. For example:

"I feel hurt when you say things like [specific comment]. It makes me feel disrespected and makes it hard for me to trust you with my feelings."

This approach encourages open dialogue and makes it easier for her to listen to your concerns.

4. Discuss Boundaries

It's important to set boundaries regarding how you both communicate during disagreements. You might want to discuss:

• What constitutes acceptable behavior during arguments.
• How to express frustration without resorting to insults.
• Establishing a "timeout" signal if things get too heated.

Having clear boundaries can help both of you feel safer during conflicts.

5. Encourage Empathy

Encourage her to consider how her words might affect you. You might say:

"I know we all say things we don’t mean when we’re upset, but I’d appreciate it if we could both try to be more mindful of our words."

Empathy can go a long way in fostering mutual respect and understanding.

6. Acknowledge the Apologies

While it's important to recognize her apologies, it’s equally important to communicate that repeated hurtful comments can diminish the sincerity of those apologies. You could express this by saying:

"I appreciate that you say sorry, but I need to feel that my feelings are taken seriously and that we can change how we communicate."

7. Seek Professional Help

If this pattern continues despite your efforts to communicate, consider seeking help from a relationship counselor. A neutral third party can provide valuable insights and strategies for resolving conflicts more effectively.

8. Evaluate Your Relationship

Finally, think about the overall health of your relationship. If the insults continue and you don’t see any effort to change, it may be necessary to evaluate whether this relationship is fulfilling your emotional needs. It's vital to be in a relationship where you feel respected and valued.

Remember, every relationship has its challenges, and addressing them constructively can lead to growth and deeper understanding. Open communication is key, and by expressing your feelings and setting boundaries, you can work towards a healthier dynamic together.