First of all, it's important to recognize that what you're experiencing is valid. Being cheated on, even if it didn't escalate to a physical relationship, can be incredibly painful and confusing. It's okay to feel hurt, betrayed, and uncertain about the future of your relationship. Here are some thoughts and suggestions to help you navigate this challenging situation.

Understanding Cheating

Cheating isn't just about physical infidelity; it can also encompass emotional betrayal. Your boyfriend's actions—texting another girl about your relationship, seeking emotional support elsewhere, and flirting—are serious breaches of trust. It's understandable to feel conflicted about the situation, especially since he has shown affection towards you at times. However, emotional cheating can be just as damaging as physical cheating, as it undermines the foundation of trust in your relationship.

Reflecting on Your Feelings

It's common to feel guilty about your feelings, especially if your boyfriend has treated you well in some aspects. However, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being. Ask yourself:

• Do you feel safe and secure in this relationship?
• Can you trust him moving forward?
• Are your needs being met emotionally and romantically?

If the answers to these questions lean towards no, it may be a sign to reconsider the relationship.

Assessing His Actions

While your boyfriend has made some efforts to avoid situations that might trigger your mistrust, such as spending more time with you and his roommates, you mentioned that you feel he is not putting in the same romantic effort as before. This could indicate a lack of commitment to rebuilding trust and intimacy. Reflect on the following:

• Has he openly communicated about his past actions and shown genuine remorse?
• Is he actively working to restore your trust, such as being transparent and accountable?
• Does he make an effort to show you love and appreciation in ways that matter to you?

If he isn't taking these necessary steps, it may be a sign that he isn't fully invested in repairing the relationship.

Communicating Your Needs

Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Express your concerns about trust, his past behavior, and your need for more emotional support and romantic gestures. Use "I" statements to convey your feelings without placing blame, such as:

• "I feel insecure when I think about your past interactions with her."
• "I need to feel appreciated and valued, especially after everything that has happened."

This dialogue can help bridge the gap between you and give him a chance to understand your perspective.

Considering Your Options

After discussing your feelings, you may want to consider a few paths:

• Give it time: Sometimes, relationships can heal with time and effort from both partners. If you feel that there is potential for growth, you can choose to stay and work on rebuilding trust.
• Seek professional help: Couples therapy can provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and work on rebuilding trust with the guidance of a professional.
• Reevaluate the relationship: If you find that your needs are consistently unmet and the trust cannot be rebuilt, it may be worth considering whether this relationship is truly right for you.

Moving Forward

Regardless of the outcome, prioritize your mental health and well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember that it's okay to seek help from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling to cope with your emotions.

Ultimately, healing from this experience will take time, but you are capable of moving forward. Trust your instincts and remember that you deserve a relationship that brings you happiness and security.

Take care of yourself, and know that you are not alone in this journey.