It's commendable that you recognize the impact of your expectations on your relationship and are seeking ways to improve things. Relationships thrive on understanding, communication, and mutual respect, and it seems like you genuinely care for your girlfriend. Here are some strategies to help you manage your expectations and strengthen your bond:

1. Self-Reflection

Take some time to reflect on why you have these expectations. Understanding the root cause can help you address them effectively. For instance, consider:

• Insecurity: Are your expectations stemming from feelings of insecurity? Acknowledge these feelings and work on building your self-esteem.
• Past Experiences: Have previous relationships influenced your expectations? Recognizing patterns can help you break them.

2. Open Communication

Discuss your feelings with your girlfriend in a calm and respectful manner. Use "I" statements to express how you feel without blaming her. For example:

• Instead of: "You never send me flirty pics."
• Try: "I sometimes feel a bit disconnected when we don’t share flirty pictures, but I respect your feelings about it."

This approach allows her to understand your perspective without feeling pressured or judged.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

Recognize that not all your desires can be fulfilled. For example, it’s understandable to want to spend New Year’s Eve together, but given her living situation, it may not always be feasible. Try to:

• Identify which expectations are reasonable and which might be unrealistic.
• Adjust your expectations to align more closely with reality, allowing for flexibility.

4. Focus on Quality Time

Instead of fixating on specific moments or activities, try to appreciate the time you do have together. Engage in meaningful conversations or activities that both of you enjoy. For instance:

• Plan a special date or activity that works for both of your schedules.
• Find new ways to connect, such as watching a movie together or cooking a meal.

5. Build Trust and Reassurance

During conflicts, needing reassurance is natural, but it’s important to find a balance. Instead of asking her to repeat things multiple times, try:

• Practicing mindfulness techniques to help manage anxiety during disagreements.
• Asking her to clarify her feelings once, and then taking a moment to process what she says before responding.

This can help reduce frustration for both of you and foster a more supportive environment.

6. Respect Boundaries

It's vital to respect your girlfriend's boundaries regarding intimacy and sharing personal images. Mutual respect is key to a healthy relationship. Consider:

• Engaging in open discussions about comfort levels with intimacy, both physical and emotional.
• Understanding that her choices are valid and not a reflection of her feelings for you.

7. Seek Professional Help

If you find it challenging to manage your expectations on your own, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist. They can provide you with personalized strategies and tools to navigate your feelings and improve your relationship.

Conclusion

By actively working on managing your expectations, communicating openly, and respecting each other's boundaries, you can strengthen your relationship with your girlfriend. Remember, relationships require effort and understanding from both partners. It's great that you're willing to put in the work to ensure a healthy and loving partnership.

Ultimately, love is about connection, understanding, and growth. With patience and commitment, you can navigate these challenges together.