It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed in this situation. Navigating mental health challenges in a relationship can be difficult, especially when both partners are dealing with their own struggles. Here are some suggestions on how to communicate your needs to your boyfriend and work towards a healthier dynamic:

1. Open Communication

Start by having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Choose a calm moment to discuss your feelings rather than during an argument. You might say something like:

“I really appreciate how much you want to help me when I’m upset, but I need to explain what I actually need in those moments.”

This sets a positive tone and shows that you value his intentions.

2. Explain Your Need for Space

Let him know that sometimes when you’re upset, you simply need space to process your emotions. You can explain that it’s not about pushing him away, but rather about how you cope. You might say:

“When I’m feeling down, I often need some time alone to sort through my feelings. I don’t want you to take it personally; it’s just how I cope.”

3. Set Boundaries

Discuss what specific actions from him might help you feel more comfortable. For example:

• “When I’m upset, I’d prefer if you could give me some time alone, and then we can talk later when I feel more like myself.”
• “If I snap at you, I’m not mad at you; I’m just feeling overwhelmed. It would help me if you could remind yourself of that.”

4. Develop a Signal

Creating a simple signal or phrase that indicates you need space can be beneficial. For example, you could say:

“I’m feeling overwhelmed right now; I just need some quiet time.”

This way, he will understand that you’re not rejecting him, but rather taking care of your mental health.

5. Encourage His Understanding

Encourage your boyfriend to learn more about mental health, especially regarding depression. You might suggest:

• Reading articles or watching videos together about coping mechanisms.
• Discussing what he has learned in therapy about supporting someone with mental health challenges.

6. Validate His Feelings

It’s important to acknowledge that your boyfriend’s feelings are valid as well. You might say:

“I understand that my feelings can sometimes make you feel helpless or frustrated, and I’m sorry for that. I want us to work through this together.”

7. Seek Professional Help Together

If it feels appropriate, consider the idea of attending couples therapy. This can provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and learn how to support each other better.

8. Practice Self-Care

As you continue your therapy journey, focus on self-care strategies that work for you. This could be journaling, taking walks, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. The more you understand yourself, the better you can communicate your needs.

Conclusion

Relationships require patience and understanding, especially when mental health issues are involved. By communicating openly, setting boundaries, and validating each other’s feelings, you can work towards a healthier relationship dynamic. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your needs, and your boyfriend should be willing to support you in this journey.

Take care, and good luck!