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My boyfriend (32) and I (20) had a normal conversation yesterday before I went to sleep while he was drinking. I woke up at 2am to a text from him asking if I was awake, and then he sent me a picture of his table smashed up with a hatchet. We talked for a while, and I even had a phone call with him, but during that conversation, he was mentioning suicidal thoughts. I did my best to comfort him, reminding him that he can be open about his feelings and that he should talk to his therapist about them. Since 5am this morning, I haven't heard from him, and it’s now 7pm. I’m really worried and freaking out. Am I being irrational?

a month ago
37

It's completely understandable to feel concerned and anxious in this situation. When someone we care about exhibits signs of distress, especially in a vulnerable state like being drunk, it can be very alarming. Here’s a breakdown of what you might consider in this scenario:

1. Assessing the Situation:

  • He reached out to you while drunk, which indicates he may have felt overwhelmed and needed support.
  • The image of the smashed table and the mention of suicidal thoughts are significant red flags that should not be taken lightly.
  • His lack of communication since 5am could be due to various reasons, including hangover, embarrassment, or more serious issues related to his mental health.

2. Your Feelings are Valid:

Feeling anxious or irrational in response to his behavior is a natural reaction. You care about him, and his well-being is important to you. It's crucial to acknowledge your feelings as valid.

3. Communication is Key:

Since he has not responded, it’s essential to try reaching out again. You could send a message expressing your concern and your willingness to talk whenever he feels ready. For example:

"Hey [Boyfriend's Name], I've been thinking about you and I'm really concerned after our conversation last night. I hope you're okay. I'm here for you whenever you want to talk."

4. Encourage Professional Help:

You mentioned that he should talk to his therapist about his feelings, which is an excellent suggestion. Mental health professionals can provide the necessary support and coping strategies. If he hasn’t been open about his feelings with his therapist, encourage him to do so.

5. Consider Your Safety:

If you continue to feel concerned for his safety and well-being, consider reaching out to a close friend or family member of his, or even a mental health professional. They might be able to assist or check in on him.

6. Trust Your Instincts:

While it’s easy to feel irrational in moments of worry, trust your instincts. If you feel that something is seriously wrong, it’s better to err on the side of caution. You can also look into local mental health resources or hotlines that can offer guidance.

7. Take Care of Yourself:

Lastly, don’t forget to take care of your own mental health during this time. It can be emotionally draining to worry about someone else. Engage in activities that help you relax and keep your mind occupied.

Remember, you're doing your best to support him. It's not irrational to be concerned; it's a sign of your care and love. I hope you hear from him soon and that he’s okay.

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