It's understandable to feel confused about your friend's feelings, especially given the history between you two. Here’s a detailed breakdown of the situation, examining the signs and behaviors you’ve described.

1. Mixed Signals

It sounds like you're experiencing a classic case of mixed signals. The fact that she rejected your initial invitation for a date, yet has since become closer to you, complicates the dynamics. Her previous situationship causing her to pull away from you could indicate that she was trying to prioritize that relationship, but once it ended, she sought comfort in your friendship.

2. Hot and Cold Behavior

You mentioned that she seems hot and cold with her attention towards you. This could stem from several factors:

• Comfort Level: She may feel comfortable with you as a friend and enjoys your company, but she might be hesitant to pursue anything romantic because of the past rejection.
• Uncertainty: She could be uncertain about her own feelings. It’s possible she values your friendship highly and is unsure if she wants to risk it by exploring something more.

3. Effort and Initiative

The fact that you are the one reaching out during breaks indicates that you are invested in maintaining the connection. This could mean that she appreciates your initiative but may not be equally proactive. It’s worth considering that while she seems to enjoy your company during gaming sessions, her willingness to spend time with other guy friends could suggest she is comfortable with platonic relationships.

4. Avoidance of Embarrassing Stories

Her tendency to avoid retelling embarrassing things around you might indicate that she is conscious of how she is perceived by you. This could reflect a desire to maintain a certain image or to avoid vulnerability in front of you, which can sometimes be an indicator of romantic interest. She might be trying to impress you or keep things light between you two.

5. Changes Over Time

Both of you have changed since you first met, and it’s possible that her feelings have evolved as well. Consider the possibility that she may have developed feelings for you after the initial rejection but is unsure about how to express them. It’s common for people to reassess their feelings as they grow and change.

6. Evaluating the Friendship

Since you value her friendship, it’s crucial to weigh the potential risks of altering the status quo. If you’re considering expressing your feelings again, think about how you might approach the conversation:

• Be Honest: Share your feelings in a non-confrontational way. You could say something like, “I really value our friendship, but I’ve been feeling a bit confused about where we stand.”
• Gauge Her Reaction: Pay attention to her response. If she seems receptive, it may open up a deeper conversation about her feelings.
• Be Prepared for Any Outcome: Understand that she may still not be interested in a romantic relationship, and be ready to respect her feelings.

Conclusion

Ultimately, navigating friendships with potential romantic undertones can be tricky. It’s essential to communicate openly while being mindful of the existing friendship. Whether you choose to address your feelings or maintain the current dynamic, prioritize mutual respect and understanding. The clarity gained from open communication can often strengthen your bond, regardless of the outcome.