It sounds like you've been through a challenging situation, and it's understandable to feel concerned when changes occur in a long-term relationship. Trust is a fundamental aspect of any partnership, and when that trust is shaken, it can lead to feelings of insecurity and suspicion.
When your husband started his new job, which came with increased pay, it might have introduced new dynamics into your relationship. People often experience shifts in behavior when they take on new roles or responsibilities, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. For instance, he may have been working longer hours or dealing with new stresses that affected his interactions at home. This is not uncommon and could be a simple explanation for the changes you noticed.
However, your feelings of suspicion led you to seek external help. Engaging a hacker to spy on your partner raises several ethical and legal concerns. While it may seem like a quick solution to your doubts, it could lead to significant consequences for both you and your husband. For example:
Legal Issues: Unauthorized access to someone else’s electronic communications can be illegal in many jurisdictions. It could lead to criminal charges against the person performing the hack, and potentially against you for soliciting their services.
Breach of Trust: If your husband were to find out that you were spying on him, it could irreparably damage the trust in your relationship. Open communication is often a healthier approach to resolving doubts.
Emotional Impact: Discovering information through spying can lead to feelings of guilt or paranoia. It might also exacerbate any existing issues between you and your husband.
Instead of resorting to hacking, consider addressing your concerns directly with your husband. Open and honest communication can often clear up misunderstandings. You could approach the conversation by expressing how you've been feeling and asking about the changes you've noticed in his behavior since starting his new job.
Additionally, if there are underlying issues in your marriage, such as financial stress or lack of quality time together, these should be discussed openly. Seeking couples therapy could also be a beneficial step if communication proves difficult. A therapist can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and work through any issues together.
In conclusion, while it may be tempting to seek out clandestine solutions to your suspicions, prioritizing open communication and trust-building is crucial for the health of your relationship. If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a professional for support before taking any drastic actions.