Love Advice

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Love Advice

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My (32 M) wife (33 F) and I are at the end of the road... it's been 6 months. Do we quit now or keep on fighting? As the title says, after 6 months of marriage, I think it's over. Together just over 2 years, broke up once about a year or so ago but rectified and fixed a lot of our issues. Fast forward to now and, well, idfk what's going on. We have 3 kids, 2 are mine from a previous marriage, her 1 from her previous relationship. Living together for 8 or 9 months now and it was all great, until we married. That's when shit hit the fan and it spiraled downhill. Soon after we hitched she had a large medical procedure and a change of employment. I changed jobs to be closer to home and reduce my stress/workload. I took a pay cut but still make enough to cover all house expenses. She quickly became 2nd in charge at her job with a good set salary. We handled that seamlessly but the problems kept coming. Her pay was sporadic and not matching her salary or workload. She brought more and more work home and will spend hours responding to texts/emails and calls. Some serious, some just talking to coworkers. She'll do that more than she talks to me. All the while she hadn't been paid in 3+ weeks. Financial stress is a huge issue but she wants to provide more and more but I carry all of the house bills anyway.

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Love Advice

2 months ago

I caught My ( 22 F ) bf ( 21 M ) texting his ex and forgave him, i still feel hurt , how can i move on? My bf was texting his ex gf for a week now, he locked the conversation but forgot his laptop open, and thats when i saw him talking about their love and memories for the past week. He told me he didnt mean any of the things he said, and this whole conversation with her was just because her sister is a great network for a job he was dreaming of, and that he was trying to be nice just so he can ask for the favor. He said it was a selfish thing to do, and apologized, he even cried and i never saw him cry. He did not want to lose me and admitted that he made a mistake. I believed him, because i dont think he is the kind of person who would cheat . He gave me flowers and a necklace as an apology gift, but i still find myself remembering that awful feeling that i got when i saw the texts, and how much i was shaking and panicking. It feels like something in my heart isnt the same, and whenever i look at him i get scared that i might get hurt like that again. It was horrible and totally unexpected since we were on really good terms. How do i get over it knowing he is truly sorry and he truly loves me?

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My (27f) gf (29f) gets mad at me because she thinks I’m privileged. How do I go about it? We have been together for a year and currently in long distance for a bit. We both come from different backgrounds but I never saw this being an issue for us. We lived together for around 7 months before I had to move for work. It was a mutual decision as we thought it would be good for our financial future since I make more $$$ and she decided to move in with her parents to help them out etc.

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Love Advice

2 months ago

I’m 39f dealing with an unstable man 37m that refuses to be rejected and at this point I’m getting a little terrified. Can anyone give me advice on the steps I should take in order to keep him away from me? This might be long but I matched with a man on a dating app 3 months ago. We talked through text and a few phone call before meeting for the first date. I felt as though the first date went fairly well and I was definitely wanting to see him again. I had found out he had gotten out of a 2 year long relationship shortly before getting back on bumble though. They were engaged as well so that really took me back and screamed the first red flag to me so I backed off and expressed that to him. That he really should be taking time to process that and taking some time to himself but he double downed and went over how he had mentally been “checked out” of the relationship for a long time and did a lot of healing and work on himself throughout the year. He said he didn’t expect to meet someone like me so soon and he really wanted to see where this went. Relunctantly I fell for it and continued to see this guy which in hindsight was a huge mistake on my part.

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My (M28) girlfriend (F27) took part of my christmas present. How do i confront her? Yesterday, on Christmas Eve, my girlfriend’s grandmother gave both of us envelopes with money as a gift. I didn’t open mine but noticed it contained a €50 note before setting it aside with the other presents. Today, when I went to retrieve it, I saw that my girlfriend had already taken her envelope, and mine appeared to have been opened. However, instead of the €50 note I thought I saw, it now only contained €10. Now I’m questioning whether I truly saw a €50 note or if I imagined it. I can’t help but remember that my girlfriend sometimes feels jealous when her family gives me gifts during Christmas. How do I confront her about this? Edit: My girlfriend is very money-driven. We share a joint account that we use for shared expenses like rent, groceries, and other necessities. However, I’ve caught her a few times using it for her own purposes. We both come from humble beginnings and have worked hard to improve our situation, so I can partially understand her behavior.

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My fiancé (26M) kicked me (23F) four times in the chest. Why…? We've been together for 6 years, and we were planning to get married in 2025. For years, I did feel that he actually loved me. But few nights ago, he got angry at me but it wasn't the angriest he had ever been, I was trying to push him off while he was playing his games and I don't know what but something flipped and he kicked me hard in the chest four times even after I fell down to the floor. He never once asked me if I was okay that night. I know that it is not right to do that to someone else but why do people do that to someone they love? Like is putting your hands on your partner ever justifiable? I'm possibly still in denial, but what am I supposed to do now? I always heard about stories like these where their partners put their hands on them but I never once thought it would happen to me.. i know I should leave and I want to but it’s easier said than done.. I feel helpless because I don't have anyone to talk to about it.

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My 35 M partner got angry at me 35F for eating before he did. How would you judge this? Me ‘35F’ and my partner ‘35M’ ,been together 3 years, have just had a fight. He cooked. We decided to eat in front of the tv as it’s Boxing Day and we were feeling slow and lazy. As we sat down I took a bite. He then got very upset, called me a chav and how I am a disappointment. The reason for this outburst is because I ate without waiting for him. Literally we were both about to sit down on the couch and I just dug in without thinking. I apologised but he just would not let it go. He just got meaner and meaner and I got very upset. He says I’ve behaved abhorrently but I just think he has really overreacted.

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Love Advice

2 months ago

I'm (30f) upset that my bf (39m) and his friend (33f), who is also his ex, were constantly play-fighting and dominating conversation with their banter on Christmas. How much of this is a real issue vs. just my jealousy issues flaring up again? I'm a jealous partner, and it's something I actively try to work on. But, I'm not gonna lie, it's tough being in a relationship with a man who still considers his ex his best friend. Background: My boyfriend and Emma (not her real name) dated 8 years ago and broke up after 2 years together when the romance fizzled out. They've stayed close ever since, especially after going through multiple traumatic events together. She's still close to his family, he's still the first person she calls when she's upset... and almost everything he's done or every place he's been to in the last decade, he has been there/done it with her. Now, the only reason I can stomach this close friendship at all is because I'm friends with an ex too. We're not as close as they are, but it does allow me to see/understand that two people with a romantic history + strong bond can ABSOLUTELY see each other as just friends. So, I want to be clear that it is not their friendship that bothers me, it's their closeness. We both hang out with our respective exes and it's fine, drama-free -- but being in the same room as my bf and Emma is usually really, really testing, because they're so playful, so full of banter, and have so much in common that it makes me question if he and I are even that aligned. I know he's crazy about me and that we do have something special... but maybe our bond isn't as strong and special as theirs?

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My mother (f52) is cheating on my father (m52) after he got disabled. What can i (m22) do to support my Family? My father had a stroke and subsequent blood poisoning two years ago. At the beginning of the year he came home from the hospital and has been in a wheelchair ever since. He is actually only physically disabled (wheelchair-bound), but he is completely clear-headed and was able to help me with my physics studies without any problems, as he was a mechanical engineer himself. However, my mother more or less ignores him and at best just sits in the same room with him, although she also prefers to be on her smartphone. My father still has hope that with a lot of practice he will be able to lead a somewhat normal life in a few years and he practices walking every day Since she has frequently disappeared on weekends in recent months without announcing this or being reachable, my sister and I have confronted her about it. She then evasively admitted that she had met someone new and did not yet know exactly where this would lead in the future. However, she believes that she did not choose to live with a severely disabled person and that she has a right to live her own life. In her eyes, she is the victim of the stroke my father had two years ago, and she therefore does not feel guilty. In general, she doesn't even feel obliged to tell my father about this, even though he has suspected it for a long time.The problem is that my father is somewhat dependent on her because they have been a couple since they were 16 years old. Everything they have built is in his name as well as in my mother's name.In the event of a divorce, my father would lose an enormous amount of "life time", but also money that he needs for his care. He therefore cannot really afford to separate from my mother and is, in a certain sense, at her mercy. My mother doesn't want to be honest with him because "it could stress him out so much that he would have another stroke." My sister and I are now fighting over my mother's betrayal and have become part of the whole problem. I can hardly sleep anymore because I am ashamed of her behaviour and I myself have now played along with her whole show over Christmas. Now my question is whether I should talk to my father about it if my mother doesn’t do it or whether I should not do it to spare my father the stress and thus lie to him as well. And if I should talk to my father: How do I do something like that in the most empathetic and "fair" way possible, without my father feeling too insulted?

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Love Advice

2 months ago

Is it okay that I (20F) got mad at my boyfriend (20M) for insinuating that people only give me attention because they’re men and I am a woman? I (20F) got mad at my boyfriend (20M) recently because he always asks if a male was present if I am telling him a story. For example, I recently did a presentation a month ago and I told him that a guy complimented me on it afterwards, and no interaction further than me saying thank you. My boyfriend then says “Are you sure he was complimenting you on your presentation?” I got pretty upset with him at the moment, because he was there with me when I put countless amounts of hours in it and was really trying to make my presentation up to my standards. Another instance, I did my makeup for the first time in a while (like a week lol) and my self esteem boosted a lot from it. I told him that I feel pretty and then over the phone he said “So what guy are you trying to impress?” I’ve had a handful of conversations with him about how these types of comments make me feel like he doesn’t trust me in some way or another, and he’s always trying to diminish me as a person by always relating a situation to whether or not a male was present. Just recently, I was a little annoyed and was venting to him about how three people wouldn’t stop staring at me as I was around doing errands. He then says “Are they guys ?” I don’t know why, but I just flipped on him and told him that he knows what he’s insinuating by that comment, and he knows that I already told him to stop always asking if anyone that interacts with me is a guy. We haven’t had an argument in a while so I guess this caught him by surprise and tried to say that he meant nothing by it, he was sorry, and should’ve asked what did those three people look like. I told him that it doesn’t matter what they looked like, all I needed in that interaction was to be heard out and not interrogated (I couldn’t find a better word for the interaction in the heat of the moment). I’m just wondering, am I really overreacting by feeling so antagonized, in a sense, as if my boyfriend doesn’t trust other men to be harmless, as well as doesn’t trust me to not care about whether or not someone is the gender I am or am not attracted to? How do I approach the conversation of how comments like these hurt me and don’t feel beneficial to the health of this relationship?

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Love Advice

2 months ago

I 28F Left My Partner 30M Over Different Values and Feeling Like a Second Choice—Was It Worth It? I (28F) have been in a relationship with my partner (30M) for five years, and I’m at a breaking point. From the beginning, I knew we had differences in values, beliefs, and cultural expectations, but I thought we could work through them. Now, I’m not so sure. One of the biggest issues is his brother, who lives with us. His brother is in his late 30s, earns significantly more than we do, but used to only pay 1/3 of the rent. Even though he didn’t really need help, I initially supported the idea of helping him out because I wanted to be kind. But as time has passed, it’s become clear that his brother takes advantage of us—and my partner can’t see it. He doesn’t clean, doesn’t contribute around the house, and is incredibly manipulative. My partner, however, is completely blind to his behavior and always sides with him. If his brother calls or needs something, my partner will drop everything to help him, no matter how it affects me or our plans. I feel like I’m constantly being pushed aside for someone who disrespects me and our relationship. It’s not just his brother, though. I feel like I’m carrying all the weight at home. I’m the one who has to plan everything—dates, holidays, even basic household chores—and if I don’t handle it, it simply doesn’t get done. My partner rarely helps unless I nag him. He doesn’t seem to want to spend quality time together anymore, either. Instead, he spends hours playing video games. Marriage is something that’s really important to me, and I’ve made that clear since the beginning. But he avoids the topic entirely. At this point, I feel like he has no intention of proposing or building a long-term future with me. It’s heartbreaking because I love him, but I feel like I’m the only one trying in this relationship. Everytime I bring it up it’s bad. Has anyone else left a partner because your values, priorities, or lifestyle differences were too much to overcome? If so, was it worth it? Did you find happiness after starting over?

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Love Advice

2 months ago

Wife (44F) got a DUI on Christmas. How do I (43M) forgive her? Im all about having a good time. But a DUI is something I dont think I can forgive. You willingly went out knowing you shouldn’t… and then ended up wrecking our car. After she damaged my car last month (says she was sober, but now im not sure)… I can handle the lies, the inappropriate relationships with people, but it seems this one is too much for me? As she is sitting in jail at the moment i am debating just letting her rot there… My daughter and I had plans to go see TransSiberian Orchestra and that is now ruined because my wife is a shitty human being right now. Im livid right now. I am making appts for my therapist asap. Now i gotta deal with lawyers, insurance (gonna get dropped now because of her stupid ass), and everything else. She could have killed someone tonight…. wTF is wrong with some people. Yes im boring. But at least i know better than to endanger someone else… and my family.

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My boyfriend (33M) was mad I (27F) didn't grab a napkin at Starbucks?

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Love Advice

2 months ago

Is my 16 years relationship to my (40F) husband (40M) over? My husband and I have been together since we were both 24. We now have 2 kids (6 & 9) and an overall great life. We are secured financially, both participates in household chores, are (I think) good involved parents. We have lots of friends but also spend times doing things on our own. Our main issue is, and always has been sex. We've had ups and downs dealing with infertility and health issues, but 16 years in we're doing it between 1-3x a week. My husband has always complained that it's not enough but I can't physically be into doing it more than that. My husband is never affectionate with me without turning it sexual which has make me completely shut out of affection. We had a huge fight this morning as we haven't had sex in 4 days now since our house is full of family for Christmas and I think I'm done with this. I love him, I love our life but I'm completely empty of having this fight over and over again and feeling like it will continue forever. He thinks I'm unreasonable, I think he is. Is our marriage over?

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My husband (40m) is mad at me (f38) because I wanted to use the living room after family left for Christmas. Ifeel like this is ridiculous? So background here. I have stage 4 cancer. Diagnosed about a year and a half ago. My step daughter, 17 got her license a few months before I was diagnosed. As soon as she got her license and didn't need me to drive her anywhere she has decided I'm the worst person ever, because I asked her to clean up after herself when she was growing up. Part of this is she completely ignored me and acts like I'm not a person that lives in this house. It's really great for my feelings when I'm literally afraid I'm dying of cancer daily. Keep in mind I practically raised her as a single gle mom and did EVERYTHING for this girl when she was growing up. Took her to every single girl soccer practice and now I'm not wanted at her games kind of stuff. It's ridiculous and not fair. So after everyone left our house after Christmas brunch I wanted to chill in the living room and watch a movie. I didn't want to go nap in the room with my husband because he naps for 20 minutes and then lays there on his phone tossing and turning and making all kinds of noise while I'm still trying to nap. Well apparently my step daughter wanted to use the living room as well. So now he is mad that I chose to take my space and use the living room that I pay half the rent for. And I wouldn't give it up for a 17 year old that walks around here treating me like absolute crap. We are now in a blow out fight. I'm being told I'm being petty. That I'm twisting things, that I'm playing a victim. I literally just wanted to use the living room and im not sure why my step daughters wants are more important than mine.

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Love Advice

2 months ago

Why did my Fiancé (29M) let me (25F) sleep through a custody exchange that he was aware of? Last night I was very sick. I had pneumonia in August and ever since then I keep fighting for my life with respiratory infections. I've been sick because I usually pick up whatever my kids give me from daycare. I was dozing on the couch, waiting for my Childs father to text me that he was dropping our kid off after spending his half of Christmas with him. I was fatigued with a headache, congested with rhinitis, and my bf told me to go lay down he would meet my Childs father, because my Childs father was not texting back fast enough. I texted three times asking for the location , ETA, and offered him to keep him over night. He said he had to work, that was not a option. I dozed off, after my BF said he would get him. I woke up at 1am in a cold sweat to see that he had been sitting on the couch for 4 hours waiting on me to wake up and tell him when my bd was coming. mind you, they have one another's phone number. He lacked accountability through the whole argument, my bd had showed up at 10pm and sat outside calling my phone for 30 minutes which I did not hear. When he got no response he went back to the house and told me to get him in the morning. We always do drop off at 8pm. I was more so mad at my BF for the false sense of security, and instead of even picking my phone up, he just sat in the living room for hours. He said I was taking my frustrations out on him and its not fair and he only stayed up this late because of me and he immediately began to play victim, mean while my kid was out in the cold on Christmas....... I think both of them were at fault but I also was at fault for even taking him up on that offer. I've been a single mom and this just sealed the deal that It still falls on me. mind you, we are engaged. He had an attitude this morning which is nothing new because he is always the victim in every argument. He claims I hate men, and want the perfect guy and he's the bad guy for not being that. He does not see how bad this could've went. Me and my BD are in a better place, but had this happened two years ago, abandonment to the T. I guess I want to know if im over reacting. Or was there something I could've done different .

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Love Advice

2 months ago

My boyfriend (32m) got me (26f) silverware for Christmas. He thinks im being dramatic but am I? My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. This year was our first Christmas together, and I wanted to make it special for him. So, I got him some nice date-night clothes, a good cologne, and an appointment at the nicest massage place in town. I spent around $300. I was really hoping he would put as much thought into my gift as I did into his. When we started unwrapping our gifts, I noticed that all I got was silverware. Heavy, bulky silverware. I asked him, "Is this it?" and he said yes. I started to cry and asked him, "Why silverware?" He replied, "Well, a few months ago, you complained about us not having enough silverware. So this is a gift for both you and me." I lost it. I cried hard because never in my life have I received silverware as a gift. He then said he would buy me clothes if I didn’t like the silverware. I told him that wasn’t the point. He called me dramatic, and I told him that next year, I would buy him silverware for Christmas. He said no because we already have some. I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the evening. I went to bed crying because I truly feel like he doesn’t care about me. Am I being dramatic?

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