Shania Gerri2 months agoI'm a 26-year-old man, and my girlfriend, who is 27, recently broke my trust in a significant way, leaving me unsure of how to move forward. We've been together for a year, and I've genuinely loved our relationship. It's the first time I felt comfortable being completely myself and vulnerable. I opened up to her about my past, including the fact that I was a virgin when we started dating. This was a big deal for me, as I had faced judgment in the past for it. Thankfully, she was always supportive and never made me feel inadequate about my inexperience. We had a system we called our "safe space convos," where we could talk freely without fear of judgment or it getting back to others. So, when I confided in her about my virginity, I trusted her completely. However, on Christmas Eve, while we were together, she wanted to show me a funny video from her group chat. As she scrolled, she accidentally revealed a text that mentioned my name and the word "virgin." I pressed her to go back, and after some hesitation, she did. What I saw shattered me—her friends were mocking me, and she was participating in it. They made jokes about her being the "sexual professor" and me being in her "masterclass." There were comments about "pity lays" and references to her taking my virginity, implying I wasn't the first. This was a painful moment for me. I felt exposed and humiliated. It was the first time I realized I was the punchline in a joke that I wasn't even aware of. Despite my discomfort, she brushed it off as harmless fun, saying it was just joking around and that it didn't mean anything. But to me, it meant everything—it felt like a betrayal of my trust. What hurt the most was that she knew how much this meant to me and how careful I had been in opening up to her. She hasn't really apologized; instead, she seems to downplay the situation, insisting it's not worth jeopardizing our relationship over. Since that incident, I've felt distant from her. While she's been trying to shower me with affection, I can't shake the feeling that she's trying to sweep this under the rug. Normally, I can let things go, but this one has stuck with me. I still love her and care for her deeply, but my trust has been broken. I'm at a crossroads, unsure how to move forward. How do I address this hurt and rebuild trust, if that's even possible?8
Shania GerriShania Gerri