Shavonne Lon2 months agoI've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now, and recently I discovered something that has left me feeling confused and hurt. I found out that he has an interest in transgender women, which was a shock to me. The way I learned about it was not ideal; I wish he had communicated this to me sooner, especially after he had asked me about my own past experiences. The discovery happened when I came across a text conversation between him and a friend who is a transgender woman. They were discussing where it would be safe to "sext," and he was inquiring if she still had a Telegram account. I confronted him about it, and he admitted it was a mistake. He claimed that both he and the other person were aware of their respective relationships, but I can't help feeling that it's hypocritical since I had to cut off contact with guys I had previously been involved with. He expressed that he felt shame about his interest and has had experiences with transgender women before we met. I also found a package for a dildo in our room, and I noticed that he primarily watches transgender porn. This has left me in a dark place, questioning whether he is truly with me because he loves me or if he secretly wants to explore his fantasy further. I want to emphasize that I have no issue with transgender individuals, but the text conversations with this particular woman have left me feeling uneasy. I’m struggling with feelings of betrayal and disappointment, especially since he has been open about his boundaries with other men. I’ve communicated to him that I need transparency in our relationship, but it’s hard to shake off the feeling of being in the dark. He insists that he loves me and that he wants to understand himself better, but I can’t help but feel depressed and anxious. It's affecting my ability to eat and sleep, and I’m at a loss about what to do next.123
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