Jaxx Saranna2 months agoI (48F, single) woke up to a text this morning from my colleague (51M, married) and friend of 5 years, and I am absolutely devastated by it. He told me he’s pretty sure this won’t come as a shock to me—well, it did!! I thought we were friends, just friends. We work together in the same department every single day, and he’s married! I never thought there was anything more to our relationship. I’ve been asking myself if I’ve given any mixed signals, but I swear I haven’t. The only time we went to lunch was 5 years ago at Buffalo Wild Wings after we met with a customer together. We had small talk, nothing noteworthy. I specifically remember that lunch because we both ended up getting Covid afterward. I’ve always treated him the same way I treat my other colleagues (many of whom are also friends). I’ve always felt safe and comfortable with him, especially because he’s been married for over 20 years. I was in a relationship for 4 of the 5 years I’ve known him, and I’ve never looked at him romantically, nor would I. So I really don’t understand why he would send me this text—it changes everything. I haven’t responded because I don’t even know how to begin. To be honest, I’m upset because I genuinely valued his friendship, and now I’m questioning what he expected from me by sending this. Did he think I would want something romantic? Did he think I was open to this? I don’t know what he was hoping for. I’ve made my views on cheating very clear, and I do not condone it at all. Since we work so closely together (we’re both in upper management), I don’t know how to handle this or what to say. I’m feeling completely thrown off, and I’m unsure how to move forward with this. Here is the text (I can't share a screenshot, so here’s the message he sent me): "5 years. For the past 5 years, since a day that we had lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings, I have not been able to get you off my mind. It was really bad about 2 years ago when I would have given up everything I had just to have dinner with you, but I find that recently, it is happening again. To wake up in the middle of the night thinking about you is both confusing and exciting. I’m pretty sure none of this will come as a shock to you, but I’m telling you because I’ve needed to get it off my chest for years now, and I know I need to stop before it causes any issues at work. I’m always comfortable telling you anything, and since I won’t be seeing as much of you as in the past now that we are downstairs, I thought I’d end the year by letting you know. Your sense of humor, confidence, strength, independence, motivation, risk-taking, etc. makes it hard for me to hold in telling you how beautiful I find you every time I see you. Every day there is something different that has me realizing just how special you are. I hope 2025 brings you the health and happiness that you deserve."229
Jaxx SarannaJaxx Saranna