Debbie Dannie2 months agoMy (30F) husband (33M) might have cheated. How do I handle this? I can’t believe I’m even in this position. My husband and I have been together for nine years, married for six, and we have three young kids. I’ve always thought we had a strong, loving relationship. He’s always been the kind of partner who goes above and beyond for me and the kids. I’ve felt like I could rely on him for anything. About two weeks ago, while he was getting ready for work, his phone buzzed on the counter. A message preview caught my eye: “See you tonight” and “Make sure she doesn’t know anything.” The contact was a woman’s name I didn’t recognize. I froze, unsure of what to do. I decided not to say anything right away, wanting to see how things would play out. That evening, my husband said he had to work late. I tracked his location and saw he left work early and was at a hotel for about two hours. I wanted to confront him then and there, but with the holidays approaching, I didn’t want to ruin our plans with my parents or upset our kids. I told myself I’d wait until after the holidays to bring it up. Surprisingly, the next couple of weeks were wonderful. He’s been attentive, affectionate, and romantic—everything I’ve always loved about him. For Christmas, he gave me a new wedding band to replace the one that had broken, along with a necklace in the exact style I adore. He’s been fully present at home, helping with the kids, and we’ve been intimate several times a week. Even in his sleep, he pulls me close. Despite all this, I can’t shake what I saw. I’ve been checking his location constantly since that evening, and he’s always at work or the gym—nothing suspicious. There are no obvious signs of cheating, but those messages and the time at the hotel keep gnawing at me. I’ve tried to convince myself there could be an innocent explanation, but the uncertainty is eating me alive. I’ve always been a loving and supportive wife, and I can’t understand why he’d feel the need to step out—if that’s what’s happening. My husband has noticed something is bothering me and keeps asking if I’m okay. I’ve been brushing it off, telling him I’m just tired, but I can’t keep this up. On one hand, I’m terrified of what I might find out if I confront him. On the other, I know I can’t keep second-guessing everything and pretending like nothing’s wrong. How do I approach this? Do I confront him, or should I try to let it go?19
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Debbie DannieDebbie Dannie