Shirlee Seward2 months ago I (31F) have been married to my husband (36M) for 7 years, together for 10.5, and lately, I feel like we're growing apart. He seems more invested in his friends, work, and hobbies than in our relationship, and I’m wondering if it’s time to end the marriage. I’ve been with my husband for over 10 years, and married for 7. The first few years were great—we had fun, connected easily, and really enjoyed each other’s company. But over the last 4 or 5 years, things have changed. He seems more focused on his friends, work, and volunteering than on me or our relationship. Whenever we're together, he’s always on his phone, answering texts and calls from friends during our time. But when I try to reach out to him—whether by call or text—he ignores me and brushes it off, saying, “I was with X and X, so I didn’t see your message.” When he travels for work, I don’t hear from him at all. If I don’t text or call, it’s like I don’t exist to him while he’s away. And when I bring up my concerns about our relationship, he dismisses them. It’s like he’s lost interest in what I feel or think. Even when we go on rides together (we both enjoy motorcycles), it feels like we’re not even in sync anymore. He speeds off, leaving me miles behind while he zips around corners and weaves through traffic. When I ask him to slow down and ride with me, he gets mad, says I shouldn’t tell him how to ride, and then suggests we shouldn’t ride together at all. I don’t want that—I just want to enjoy a relaxing ride with him, not feel like I’m being left behind. We haven’t been intimate in a really long time, and when I try to talk about it, he brushes me off or responds with frustration. If I ask for affection—a hug or a kiss—he acts like it’s a chore. When I try to bring up the issue, he says he takes me on dates, so that should be enough. But to me, the intimacy and emotional connection are missing, and that’s what I need. I’ve tried suggesting marriage counseling several times, but he either shuts it down or claims it’s not worth the time or money. He even agreed to find a counselor at one point but never followed through. Recently, when I brought it up again, he said, “Maybe you just need to work on yourself,” and dismissed it completely. At this point, I’m really questioning whether this marriage is salvageable. He refuses to take any action to fix things, and I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t care enough to make the effort. So now I’m wondering if it’s time to walk away, especially if he doesn’t think counseling is necessary. Is it worth it to keep trying, or should I consider divorce?3486
Shirlee SewardShirlee Seward