Ali Giana2 months agoMy partner (34F) and I (32F) had a big argument, and now I'm second-guessing everything. They said some things that made me question our relationship, but I want to work things out. Should I be worried or is this just insecurity and poor communication on their part? We’ve been together for just over a year, and recently, we had our first really big argument. It started with a disagreement that my partner caused, but I ended up saying some hurtful things in response. After the argument, they left for a day, and I called to talk things through. When they came over, they shared some things that really made me second-guess things. They told me that for the past few months, they’ve felt like something’s been off in the relationship. This was news to me because I thought everything was fine, and I had no idea things weren’t going well in their mind. They told me that they feel like I don’t really love them and that our relationship isn’t going anywhere. I was devastated and tried to reassure them that I do love them and wish they’d communicated these feelings earlier instead of letting things build up. The conversation then shifted to things they find annoying about me, like when I ask them to help with chores. They said it feels like I’m criticizing them, and while I acknowledged I could try to ask more kindly, I also told them that I’d prefer not having to ask at all. It felt like they were listing small, petty grievances, which they later admitted was petty. The entire conversation felt back-and-forth, with them saying they wanted to make up, then pulling away, and it left me feeling confused and hurt. Eventually, we had a long conversation where I reassured them that I love them deeply and want to work through these issues. They said they were glad to hear that and that they want to make it work too. They admitted to being insecure and scared, and apologized for their lack of communication. We agreed to work on the issues we discussed, but I can’t stop thinking about what they said. I’m now wondering if they’re just with me for now, and waiting for something “better” to come along. They’ve listed so many things they’re unhappy with, and while they said it was due to insecurity and poor communication, I’m unsure whether I’m being insecure myself by questioning the relationship. Is it normal to hear those things from someone you love, or am I just overthinking this? Should I bring it up again, or leave it alone and let time tell? Thanks in advance for any advice.4487
Ali GianaAli Giana