Edythe Wilkie2 months agoI’m a 32-year-old woman, and my 41-year-old husband’s father passed away from stomach cancer five years ago at the age of 60. This loss plunged him into a deep depression that required medication and therapy. Over the years, his health and weight have deteriorated significantly, and despite five years of medical intervention, he still experiences long bouts of depression that can last for months at a time. Recently, over the past eight weeks, he has started showing symptoms similar to those his father had before being diagnosed—such as constant heartburn, vomiting into his throat at night, and feeling sick several times a week. I’ve expressed my concern about his weight gain and unhealthy habits for the past three years, always coming from a place of love, not nagging. But now, with these new symptoms, I’m finding myself on the verge of tears every day. He keeps saying, “If it’s no better next week, I’ll see a doctor,” but he never follows through. I had a health scare early last year, which really scared him, and he insisted I go to the doctor. I ended up losing 2.5 stone by getting more active and eating better, and he promised to do the same and support me. But it never happened. I would cook healthy meals for us, but he would eat them, then order extra takeout behind my back while I was asleep. This Christmas, he told me 2025 was going to be his year—he’d work more (he takes a lot of unpaid sick leave), eat better, and help me walk the dogs and pick the kids up from school. It’s only January 2nd, and he’s already ordered three takeouts, skipped work because he was up all night vomiting, and just tells me he’s not feeling well whenever I try to encourage him, like suggesting we take the kids to the park. I’m sorry for the long post; I’m just venting, but I feel so overwhelmed and worried that I’m going to be a widow by the time I’m 40. He saw how much losing his dad affected his mom and always said he’d never want anyone to go through that kind of pain. We have kids, and they see that he’s suffering—so why won’t he go to the doctor? Why is he in denial? What more can I do? I feel like I’m breaking under the stress and am considering asking him to leave, but I don’t think that would help. Thanks for listening. 2663
Edythe WilkieEdythe Wilkie