Winthrop Mattie2 months ago Sure, here’s a rewritten version of your story: I (48M) have been with my wife (45F) for nearly 20 years, and for most of that time, we had a strong and loving relationship. As a teenager, I’ve always prided myself on maintaining a healthy lifestyle—working out, eating well, and staying in good shape. I’ve kept to a manageable weight throughout the years, and I’ve always found that maintaining my fitness not only benefits my health but also my sense of self-esteem. I’ve never tried to push my lifestyle on anyone, especially my wife. I’ve always told her that if she ever wanted to join me in living a healthier way, I’d be more than happy, but it would be her choice. Over time, however, my wife has gained a significant amount of weight, and I’ve come to realize that it’s beyond the natural weight fluctuations that come with age or even "happy weight." She is now morbidly obese, and her eating habits are extremely unhealthy. I’ve tried to be supportive in various ways. I’ve asked her about her mental health, tried to be understanding if there were any underlying issues, but she insists she’s fine and doesn’t feel anything is out of the ordinary. The problem is, I’ve started to lose physical attraction to her. I still love her deeply, but since the weight gain, my feelings have changed. I find it hard to enjoy kissing her, being intimate, or even hugging her. I try to remind myself that she’s still the woman I love, but she just looks different now. It’s become difficult for me to reconcile these changes, and I’ve tried many approaches to address the issue. I’ve talked to her about it openly, trying to encourage healthier eating habits and suggesting that we work out together. I’ve also been more direct with her, but nothing seems to have worked. I know she isn’t unhappy in herself, and I don’t want to push her into something she’s not ready for. At this point, I’m at a crossroads. I don’t want to divorce her, and I don’t think an open marriage would solve the problem. But I’m concerned that if she doesn’t take her health seriously, my feelings of physical attraction will only continue to fade as she gains more weight. I love her deeply, but I don’t know how to navigate these feelings if nothing changes. TL;DR: My wife has become morbidly obese, and as a result, I’ve lost all physical attraction to her. I’ve tried talking to her about it, encouraging her to adopt a healthier lifestyle, but nothing has worked. I’m unsure how to handle this situation, as I still love her but feel disconnected physically.141
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