Aggie Susi2 months agoI (24F) have been in a situation where I’m starting to suspect that a guy I used to date (25M) might actually have deeper feelings for his best friend (24F), who we’ll call A. He and A have been friends since high school, and when I first met them, I couldn’t help but notice the chemistry between them. They were so close that people at church even thought they were a couple. I kind of started shipping them because of how natural their friendship seemed. A few months later, the guy I was interested in confessed that he liked me. We already had a solid friendship by then, and he got really close with my family too. Over time, though, his relationship with A seemed to cool down a little, but they still hung out a lot, just casually snacking and chilling. I didn’t think much of it at first because I assumed they were just friends. We eventually entered into what I’d call a "situationship." He told me that he needed to prove himself before officially asking me to be his girlfriend, which I understood. After graduation, we both landed good jobs, but that’s when things started to change. He became distant—less effort in texting, and we barely hung out. I knew we both had busy schedules, but something still felt off. He started hanging out with A and their other friends more, and I noticed he’d pick A up and drop her off at church. Sometimes, he wouldn’t come home until late, like around 3 AM. People at church even began to notice that they seemed closer than we were. Some even asked me if we were still together since they always saw him with A and not me. So, I asked him to clarify where we stood because it felt like he wasn’t happy anymore. He suggested that we become an official couple to make things clearer, but I wasn’t ready because I didn’t feel like he was as invested in the relationship anymore. He promised he’d "make it up to me," but then he went completely MIA for a week. We didn’t talk, and I had no idea what had happened. A few days later, I saw him at the park with A. They told me they were just waiting for some friends, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. He still made sure to pick A up and drop her off at church, but he stopped doing the same for me. After all of that, he asked for another chance. When I confronted him about everything, he told me he was "feeling pressured" because I had a good job, and he didn’t. I explained that I was upset because it felt like he was putting more time and effort into his friendships than our relationship. He said he found comfort in his friends rather than in me. He told me I didn’t understand him and that I didn’t appreciate him, but I really did! I asked him how I could show him I appreciate him, and he told me to be more straightforward. At this point, I saw him with A even more often. They’d go out after church services to grab food, and people were still asking me if they were a couple. I’d tell them they were just friends, but honestly, I’m starting to doubt that. What bothers me the most is how they act together. They don’t seem to have clear boundaries, and the way they hang out—picking each other up, spending late nights together, being really physical with each other—feels way too close for comfort. I even asked him directly if there was someone new in his life or if that’s why he had changed, but he denied it. When I asked about his relationship with A, he told me that people had always teased them about being a couple, but they’d always been just friends. Despite all of this, he asked for one last chance, but after a few weeks, he took it back. He said he just felt pressured and that he wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. He told me I was too emotional and kept making him feel unappreciated. That was the end of things between us. We’re still in the same church group, so I keep seeing them together, and it really hurts. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been ignoring some obvious signs all along. Do you think he might actually have feelings for her?151
Aggie Susi2 months agoHow do I (23f) stand my ground on wanting to live separate from my bf (27m) Just like the title reads, I’m stuck in a situation that unfortunately was from my own making. My bf and I have been together 1.5 years and about 5 months ago we made the choice that I would move in (partially). I say partially because I still rent my previous place and mostly only have clothes at my BF house. My problem with being at his house is that it’s not the two of us. He supports his mom and she also lives with us as well as his brother and one of my BF employees. I went from living pretty much alone to now with 4 other people and it honestly leaves me feeling drained and uncomfortable to do any cooking or other things outside of the room that is truly his. I miss having my independence and being able to cook and clean for myself. I just don’t feel comfortable or at home at his house. On NYE night I tried explain this to him and he didn’t want to hear any of it and was quite upset. Am I being unreasonable? Would me moving back to my place be reason enough to break up? I honestly dread going home to his house at the end of the day. How do I clearly set my boundary without hurting his feelings ? Edit: For context I’m not like Cinderella doing all the house work for them. Part of the problem is his mom insists on doing all of it. She is very kind and absolutely a wonderful mother to her family but I didn’t feel comfortable with her washing all my clothes. Cooking every meal and doing all the dishes. She cleans our room while we’re out working. I am not comfortable with someone taking care of me like that.555
Aggie Susi
Aggie Susi