Brittny Deonne2 months agoI (32F) have been married to my husband (32M) for five years now, and we come from a religious background that practices arranged marriages. While he fully believes in our practices and is dedicated to them, I wouldn’t say I was forced into the marriage. However, it became clear soon after our marriage that I don’t share his religious beliefs and have found my own path to spirituality, which he respects. My husband is a wonderful person, a loving father to our 4-year-old, and we're expecting another child. That said, I struggle with a lack of attraction to him. We don’t have many shared interests or much in common beyond our love for our child and the goal of raising them to be a responsible individual. Our humor, hobbies, and general interests are worlds apart, and I often feel lonely. When I think about describing him, I can’t speak ill of him because he is genuinely kind and has simple, straightforward ambitions. On the other hand, I find myself becoming increasingly cynical and sharp-tongued over time, which can unintentionally cause friction between us due to our contrasting personalities. I feel guilty because, even though my intentions are usually to help him improve, I end up feeling like the "bad guy." I believe he loves me, and he expresses it in his actions, but I’m not sure if my feelings for him are romantic or more of a deep, non-romantic affection. From the moment I met him, I realized we weren’t a perfect match, but I went ahead with the marriage due to pressure, and now I’m hesitant to reject him because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I realize it was probably a mistake, but I own that decision and want to make this work. It will take a lot of growth and patience from both of us, but I’m willing to try. I believe we can learn to live together in a way that works for us if we both put in the effort. One thing I’m certain about is that I will fight for my child's right to decide whether they want to marry for love or follow the tradition of arranged marriages. I think I just needed to share this, as I brace myself for how others might respond when I share it more publicly. 1679
Brittny DeonneBrittny Deonne