Rachael Brynlee2 months agoMy boyfriend (36M) and I (26F) have been dating for 6 months. He’s always been kind, funny, and extroverted, and we get along really well. I mentioned him to my parents, and they were excited to meet him. Since my parents live a bit far away, we planned a trip to visit them. We booked a hotel and made the trip. When we arrived at my parents’ house, I thought things would go smoothly. My parents are very welcoming, and they've met my past partners without issue. However, from the start, there was an awkward vibe. Derek seemed nervous, which was unusual for him. During dinner, my parents asked some basic questions like how we met and how serious the relationship was. Derek seemed hesitant, which was unlike him. After dinner, he suddenly thanked my parents and said we had to leave, almost as if he was rushing out. Back at the hotel, he ran to the bathroom, and I heard him throwing up. He said he was feeling sick and wanted to go home, asking me to stay and enjoy the trip without him. I agreed since I hadn’t seen my parents in a while, and he seemed to want space. I texted him a few times to check in on how he was doing, but he didn’t reply. Two days later, I was really worried about him, so I cut my trip short and went back home to check on him. When I arrived at his place, he was fine and said he was okay. He told me I was overreacting, but still insisted he wanted to be alone. I texted him later, asking if I had done something wrong or if our relationship was okay, since he was acting distant and cold. A week has passed, and I’ve had no response. This is completely unlike him, and it’s leaving me really confused. I’m unsure if I should give him space or reach out again. How do I contact him without pushing him further away? TL;DR: My boyfriend got awkward and sick after meeting my parents and now he’s been ghosting me for a week. How do I reach out to him without making things worse?122
Rachael Brynlee2 months ago I’ve been with my boyfriend (29M) for two years. His family loves hosting celebrations, whereas my family tends to keep things simple, focusing more on food than gifts. Over the past year, I’ve been invited to many of his family events, such as his sister’s birthday, his mom’s birthday, a baby shower, his niece’s birthday, a housewarming, and their family Christmas celebration. Every time, I bring a gift. The problem is that I’ve ended up spending more on gifts for his family than for my own family. I haven’t received any gifts from them in return. It’s not intentional on their part, since we usually do separate celebrations for my birthday, but the one-sided nature of the gift-giving is starting to bother me. I don’t think they expect me to bring gifts, but for many of these events, it would be awkward not to. For example, at baby showers or birthdays, I feel it would be inappropriate to show up empty-handed. I’ve even considered joint gifts with my boyfriend, but his mom once asked, “Is that the one from [my name]?” before I even mentioned that I brought a gift, which made me feel that it was expected. To clarify, I don’t want or need gifts from them. I have a decent job, and my boyfriend and I are financially better off than his family. But the sheer number of events I’m invited to, combined with the unspoken obligation to give gifts, is becoming overwhelming. With Christmas approaching, I’m wondering if this is the time to talk to my boyfriend about the situation and change how we handle gifts, or if I should just cut back on my spending and continue as usual. Should I bring it up to him, or just opt for cheaper gifts like baked goods or chocolates instead? TL;DR: I’ve given gifts to my boyfriend’s family on about 10 occasions this year without receiving anything in return. With Christmas coming up, should I talk to my boyfriend about how unsustainable this feels, or just scale back on my gift-giving?154
Rachael Brynlee
Rachael Brynlee