Kelia Boreas2 months agoI (26F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (28M) for almost three years, and overall, it’s been a great relationship. He’s thoughtful, supportive, and kind. However, there’s one recurring issue that’s been bothering me: his best friend, Nate (27M). Nate and my boyfriend have been best friends since high school, and while I understand the importance of that friendship, Nate’s behavior toward me has started to feel uncomfortable. At first, it was just small things. He’d joke around, calling me “the ball and chain” or teasing me about “stealing his best friend.” I didn’t think much of it at the time and chalked it up to his sense of humor. But recently, it’s gotten worse. Nate has started showing up uninvited at our apartment, even when my boyfriend isn’t home. He’ll settle in, make himself at home, and act like it’s no big deal. One time, he even ate leftovers that I had saved for my boyfriend’s dinner. When I mentioned it, Nate just laughed and said, “Sharing is caring, right?” My boyfriend joined in the laughter, and I felt like I was being unreasonable for caring about it. The last straw, though, was at a game night we hosted. During a break, Nate made a comment that really upset me. He said I was “lucky to be dating [my boyfriend]” and implied that if I didn’t “keep things interesting,” someone else might. It was said in a joking way, but it made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I told my boyfriend afterward, but he brushed it off, saying, “That’s just Nate. He doesn’t mean anything by it.” Now, I’m really struggling. I don’t want to come between my boyfriend and his best friend, but at the same time, I feel like my boundaries are constantly being ignored. Every time I try to talk to my boyfriend about it, he defends Nate or tells me I’m overreacting. It’s starting to feel like my concerns don’t matter, and I don’t know how to handle this anymore. How do I make my boyfriend understand how much this is affecting me without making it seem like I’m trying to drive a wedge between them?142
Kelia BoreasKelia Boreas