Luca Melchiorre2 months agoI (21F) am engaged to my partner (25F), and we’ve been living together for a few months now. Things have been generally great between us, and we’ve learned to argue in a healthy and respectful way. But there’s this issue I’m struggling with, and I’m not sure if I’m being too sensitive or if something’s off. A, my partner, has more dating experience than me, which I understand given our age difference, and we’re both each other’s first live-in partner. That means sometimes I feel unsure about how I’m reacting to things, especially when we fight. The issue started with a disagreement I had over sleeping through the day. I was upset with myself and ended up taking it out on her. I felt frustrated that she made plans with a friend when she had promised we’d go thrifting together. To me, it felt like I wasn’t a priority, and I ended up lying to avoid the situation. I acknowledge that I should have handled it better, but things took a turn when she mocked me. She started mimicking my reactions, using a high-pitched tone and fake crying, which felt like she was making fun of me. She also mocked my disassociation, calling it “staring at a wall for no reason.” It hurt because it felt like bullying. This is especially triggering for me because I’ve been called a crybaby my whole life, and I’ve learned to suppress my feelings. She encourages me to open up, but whenever I do, it feels like she’s just scrutinizing me. When I shut down, she accused me of playing the victim, which makes it even harder to feel safe sharing my feelings with her. I’ve told her how much this bothers me, but she continues to do it, and it’s making me feel like I can’t be myself around her. The final straw was when she called me kicking the blankets off the bed a “temper tantrum.” I was just trying to cool off alone, and that felt like an unfair judgment. I don’t know how to handle this anymore. I want to open up, but I’m afraid it will just lead to me being made fun of. We’re both in therapy, and this is really the only issue we’ve been struggling with, but I don’t know how to move forward. What should I do?154
Luca MelchiorreLuca Melchiorre