Ciriaco Sonia2 months agoI (28F) recently discovered that my boyfriend (29M) had been planning a surprise proposal for me, but after learning about a meeting he had with my father, I’m starting to think the proposal might be canceled. Over the past couple of months, my boyfriend’s behavior seemed a bit off—he was acting sneaky and distant, which made me suspicious. About a month ago, I accidentally found out that he had reached out to my two best friends for help with the proposal and had already bought a ring. I also learned that he had taken my mom out for lunch to discuss it, and my sister, without realizing, let it slip that something big was being planned. I figured it was going to happen sometime this February, but I didn't know the exact date. I know I probably shouldn’t have snooped around and uncovered all of this, and I feel guilty for finding out early. It was my own fault for getting curious. Last week, however, things took a surprising turn. A friend of mine casually mentioned that she saw my boyfriend at a coffee shop, and, jokingly, she said that he was with my dad. This caught me off guard because my boyfriend and my dad had never met before. I’ve always said that I’d love to have my father’s blessing before getting engaged, and it’s something that’s important to me. While some people might not agree with the tradition, it’s a cultural value in my family, especially in the South. That same day, I called my boyfriend to check in, but I didn’t mention anything about the meeting with my dad. When I asked how his day was going, he sounded a little off. He told me that things could be better and that work was stressful. He then mentioned that it would be helpful if I could eventually introduce him to my dad because, as he put it, "If I were a dad, I’d want to make sure my daughter is with someone stable and worthy." The way he said it made me think that the meeting with my dad didn’t go as well as he had hoped. He didn’t know that I already knew about the meeting, and this just broke my heart. I’m left feeling confused and hurt. I think the proposal is probably off the table for now, and I’m feeling a mixture of disappointment and guilt. 1) I had been excited about the proposal, but now it seems like it might not happen soon, and I can’t even talk to him about it because I don’t want to make him feel worse. 2) I don’t know how to address this situation without revealing that I already know everything. Some background: I come from a well-off, highly educated family, and my boyfriend, although from a less privileged background, is kind, hardworking, reliable, and loving. My boyfriend has met my mom and siblings, and they’ve all known him for over two years and love him. My dad knows about him, too, but they’ve never met in person before. So now, I’m in a tough spot. I don’t want to push him into something he’s not ready for, but I also feel heartbroken and unsure about how to move forward. What should I do? How do I address this situation without revealing that I already know too much?1147
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