Dorthy Kelia2 months agoI (26F) recently married my husband, Jack (30M), a few months ago, and we've been together for almost three years. Both Jack and I are very close to our families, and we've been lucky to have supportive and loving families. My parents have been understanding as I’ve gradually distanced myself from them while transitioning into a serious relationship and marriage. My mother-in-law, Carol (fake name), on the other hand, has been struggling with this transition. She is a self-proclaimed "boy mom" and fits the stereotype – she’s protective and a bit possessive of her sons (Jack is the 3rd of 4 boys, and all of them are now married, most recently within a couple of years). While Carol is friendly, kind, and loving to each of her new daughters-in-law, she’s been having difficulty accepting that she’s no longer the main priority now that they’re married. The issue is that Jack is caught in the middle – he’s torn between me wanting him to prioritize our relationship and Carol wanting him to continue being at her beck and call like he used to be. This has been a constant issue with all of the sons who are now married. The most recent and painful situation occurred this Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we spent the evening with Jack’s parents and exchanged gifts. We weren’t planning on staying long on Christmas Day since we were going to my parents’ house. The next day, Jack went to drop off some last-minute presents to his parents while I stayed home to make breakfast. I thought he would be back quickly, so I waited to eat breakfast with him. But two hours passed, and the food was cold. I called him, and he said Carol had asked him to stay and open Christmas gifts with her. I was heartbroken and said, "WHAT ABOUT MY CHRISTMAS?" before hanging up and crying. When he got home, I expressed how unfair it was that I had to spend Christmas morning alone while he was with his parents. I told him that this couldn’t happen again and that I was tired of not being his priority. I explained that if I had known I’d be alone on Christmas Day because he was with his mom, I would’ve gone to my parents’ house. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and we’ve had this conversation before. I’m not sure how to get my husband to understand that we, as a couple and a new family, should be the priority, not his mom. How can I make him see this? TL;DR: My husband left me alone on Christmas Day because his mom wanted him to stay, and I told him that was unacceptable, but I don’t think he understands. How do I help him understand that our relationship should come first?1333
Dorthy KeliaDorthy Kelia