Christine Reilly2 months agoI (38f) and my husband (45m) are approaching our 6th wedding anniversary next month. We have 3 kids—5yo, 3yo, and 2yo—and our house is always in chaos, with chores and projects piling up. The stress of raising a young family had us both in survival mode, and we fell into the roles of the “nagging wife” and the “yes, honey” husband, which left us feeling overwhelmed and burned out. About 6 months ago, we began holding weekly talks called “The State of Our Union” (a concept created by the Godards, which you can look up to learn more about). Essentially, every week, we sit down and each list 5 things we appreciate about the other person, focusing on different things each time—no repeats. Once the appreciation part is done, we move on to discuss any grievances or things that need addressing. The talks are always more positive because we’ve just shared gratitude. While things did get tense at times, these talks were always constructive and necessary for our relationship. At the end of each talk, we ask, “How can I love you better this week?” This allows us to request specific things or ask for changes based on the grievances we just discussed. For instance, one week, I was upset because my husband didn’t get me a thoughtful birthday gift, even though I always put a lot of thought into his gifts. I expressed that I wanted something sentimental and meaningful. He went above and beyond and got me a unique, special gift that made me cry with joy. Not only did we commit to having these talks, but we also put in the effort and showed up for one another. The difference in our relationship is incredible. We’re no longer just surviving; we’re thriving. I’m so proud of how far we’ve come, and I feel like we’ve truly gotten back on track. 1669
Christine ReillyChristine Reilly